Lena Dunham

Source: Wikimedia Commons

The Week’s Most Austere, Unclear, and Insincere Headlines

BARKING MANATEE LENA DUNHAM CALLS FOR THE EXTINCTION OF WHITE MEN
Lena Dunham is an unforgivably overweight and savagely unattractive alleged comedienne who blithely makes false rape accusations and once wrote glowingly of diddling her baby sister’s vagina. On Twitter last week she posted a short animated video that calls for the extinction of white men.

In the video she asks her father Carroll”€”an artist known for paintings of giant gross vaginas“€”“How are you feeling about the extinction of white men?”

Her daddy responds:

Well, white men are a problem. Straight white men are a big problem, that’s for sure. But I actually feel pretty good about it. I think, uh, straight white guys have been screwing things up for long enough. High time, uh for straight white males to step back and let some other people do it.

Then, as a giant lady’s shoe comes down and crushes the straight white male cartoon character to death, Lena is heard saying “That’s my dad” as her dad laughs.

On her Tweet that accompanied the video, Dunham wrote:

It’s not the end of men, it’s the evolution of men into better men.

How about you evolved into a thin woman who’s attractive and funny?

Dunham recently told an audience:

White patriarchy is like a beast in a movie that’s been stabbed and is just dying so slow and screaming as it goes down, and I just am afraid of what that’s going to look like.

We here at Taki’s Mag would not be afraid in the least to see what it would look like if a giant straight white man’s boot came down from the sky and squashed Lena Dunham into a squirming manatee begging for life but receiving roughly as much mercy as she appears willing to dole out to straight white men.

CHAOS ON THE STREETS OF EUROPE
There is no better place to appreciate the innate vibrance and enrichment of diversity in all its serendipity than on the streets of modern Europe.

In Sweden”€”where everything is rape and the entire country has Stockholm Syndrome”€”an average of three police officers are resigning their posts daily in the face of rampant crime by its humble migrant population. The country is now beset with over fifty “no-go zones” where even police fear to tread.

In Germany, a recent poll shows that 68 percent of native Germans say they fear for their lives in public train stations and subways due to the wonderful cuisine and kooky costumes the migrants have gifted to the country.

Police are openly expressing fear that they are losing control of the streets. According to a female German police officer:

For weeks, months and years I have noticed that Muslims, mostly young men, do not have even a minimum level of respect for the police….If we make a traffic stop, the aggression increases ever further, this is overwhelmingly the case with migrants. It cannot be that offenders continue to fill the police files, hurt us physically, insult us, whatever, and there are no consequences.  Many cases are closed or offenders are released on probation or whatever. Yes, what is happening in the courts today is a joke.

A confidential police report that leaked to a German newspaper estimates that migrants commit a crime roughly every three minutes.

The area surrounding the Stalingrad Metro station in Paris has become an apocalyptic war zone as volatile mobs of homeless African migrants beat each other with wooden clubs. According to a shopkeeper whose business is being destroyed by the brooding interlopers:

The stench of urine, feces, and rubbish has made Stalingrad an insalubrious place to live. The place is dead”€”no one wants to come here anymore. People are afraid to go out and lock themselves in.

But you must remember”€”this is what makes us strong. There is strength in division”€”sorry, in diversity.

ASSANGE: IT’S NOT RUSSIA, DUMMIES
World-renowned interpretive dancer Julian Assange of Wikileaks fame has been fingered by Hillary Clinton”€”and we all know how painful that can be”€”for allegedly being in cahoots with the Russian government in a sinister attempt to influence Tuesday’s presidential election. In an interview with journalist John Pilger at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, Assange insists he did not receive her emails from the Russian government, dismissing all such allegations as “neo-McCarthyist hysteria”:

The Clinton camp has been able to project a neo-McCarthyist hysteria that Russia is responsible for everything. Hillary Clinton has stated multiple times, falsely, that 17 US intelligence agencies had assessed that Russia was the source of our publications. That’s false”€”we can say that the Russian government is not the source…Clinton as a person, because I see someone who is eaten alive by their ambitions, tormented literally to the point where they become sick “€“ for example faint “€“ as a result of going on, and going with their ambitions. But she represents a whole network of people, and a whole network of relationships with particular states.

Strong suspicion lingers, however, that the Kremlin is behind Assange’s public outbursts of interpretive dancing.