Why not regulate everything? That seems to be the central canon of what Hugo Chavez calls “Bolivarianism,” which is Venezuelan for bollocks.

Chavez started out as a nationalist, who pledged to clean up corruption, and opposition from the US boomeranged, propelling him into power. Shortly after that, however, he started to go off the rails, perhaps never having been fully on track to begin with. First, El Bufoon-o decreed that, henceforth, all clocks would be set ahead by half an hour “in order to increase the metabolism and productivity of workers.” Now his government has announced that, from now on, the parents of newborns will be presented with a list of 100 Bolivarian-approved names. No others are permitted—or, as they say in the cheesier restaurants, no substitutions allowed.

No word yet as to the penalty for violating this dictum. Let your imagination run wild …