Combat Training for Toddlers

My first and only kid was born two years ago, and I almost didn’t live to see him. A month before he hatched, a jumbo brain tumor knocked me unconscious. I turned blue and ...

How to Handle Hair Plugs, an Indecent Daughter, and an Ugly Grandson

Dear Delphi, I am a 58-year-old man and I am considering getting hair plugs. What do you think? "€”Hair Loss in Hartford Dear Hair Loss in Hartford, I don"€™t think men ...

Fortysomethings (and Why I Hate Them)

Divorced, decapitated, dead"€”King Henry VIII's wives had it simple. For 21st-century fortysomethings"€”my contemporaries"€”the litany of woe is somewhat more extensive: ...

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Time Alone With the Boys, Feeling Stalked, Pregnant Harpy, and Lush Wife

Dear Delphi, I am a 26-year-old boy and have a great girlfriend I really like. The problem is, I want to have some time with the boys but I can"€™t seem to manage. This is how ...

Flirty Baristas, Amorous Exes, Freeloading Friends, and Feeling Fat

Dear Friends, From..."€œWill I confuse my boy dog if I dress him up like a girl dog? I think the girl dog clothes are so much cuter and just can"€™t help ...

Evil Intentions, Inheritance Angst, and Postpartum Exhaustion

Dear Delphi, Having grown up a certain way with certain expectations, I am very concerned that my parents are spending my inheritance with great folly at an alarming rate. I fear ...

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Dried-Up, Chatted-Out, Dirty, and Hungover

Dear Delphi, I am a 65-year-old man. I just got my 2nd divorce. I was wondering: Do I have any chance of getting another girl on a budget (I spent quite a bit on Wife Number ...

Mind Your Manners and Blame Hollywood

Dear Delphi, I detest my brother-in-law. He is close to 40, unemployed, lazy, and arrogant. I don"€™t know why my sweet little sister married him. Luckily we do not live in the ...

Freshman Freakout, Pussy Pandering, and How to Handle a Bitchy Mother-in-Law

Dear Delphi, I am really upset. I am a 9th-grade boy and I just started boarding school this fall. I play lacrosse, I think I am cute enough, but not one girl has even looked in ...


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