Austin, Texas

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Clingiest, Stringiest, and Springiest Headlines SXSS The South by Southwest (SXSW) film and music festival in Austin is no stranger to disruption. In 2014, a man named Rashad Charjuan Owens plowed through the crowd in his SUV, killing four. Why’d he do it? It was springtime; there were no Christmas parades. The motive? Considering that he’s a black man with “char” in his name, it certainly had something to do with cold food. This year, the SXSW controversy involves Jews. One of the festival’s sponsors is the U.S. Army, and over a hundred bands have pulled out to ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Scion, Zion, and In-Like-a-Lion Headlines KURDS AND WHY Mohammed El-Kurd bills himself as “the first-ever Palestine correspondent for The Nation.” Though ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Vile, Worthwhile, and Bissextile Headlines MARCUS STARVEY According to The New York Times, there’s a growing movement of American blacks relocating to ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Torrential, Deferential, and Presidential Headlines NUTS TO YOU A guy walks into a doctor’s office. Though normal from all outward appearances, when the man ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Wining, Dining, and Be-My-Valentining Headlines HOLLYWOOD’S BLACKLIST Santa’s Village was an amusement park where kids could experience Christmas ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Veering, Peering, and Leap-Yearing Headlines SOMEWHERE OVER THE BRAIN-SLOW It was the greatest unsolved mystery of our time. D.B. Cooper? The Black Dahlia? The ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Humping, Lumping, and Border-Jumping Headlines EXTERMINATION CHARGING STATION You can’t spell “never again” without “EV.” Last week Elon Musk faced a ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Flying, Crying, and Friendly-Skying Headlines JUST PLANE CRAZY 2023’s least pleasant travel trend was airplane defecation. A dozen stories involving ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Teeming, Scheming, and I-Have-a-Dreaming Headlines A SCOOBY JEW MYSTERY! Today’s episode: The Case of the Haunted Brownstone. Crown Heights, Brooklyn: For ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Shaking, Baking, and Resolution-Breaking Headlines PLATE OUTTA COMPTON As Governor Newsom rolls out statewide free healthcare for all illegals, Californians who ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Hopping, Bopping, and Champagne-Popping Headlines AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, AUTOPSIES MATTER In 2024, immigration would be the No. 1 winning issue for the GOP, so ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Dollying, Volleying, and Boughs-of-Hollying Headlines ART-IS-ANAL CHRISTMAS Sometimes conservatives come across like flat-earthers, in that they fail to see the ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Hopping, Bopping, and Last-Minute-Shopping Headlines MAGILL, A GORILLA In a coda to the disastrous congressional testimony by U Penn president Liz Magill and ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Skimming, Brimming, and Tree-Trimming Headlines BAYSQUASH For blacks, swimming in the ocean can be hazardous. So can sitting on the beach, apparently—odd as ...


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