Nicholas James Pell

Nicholas James Pell

Nicholas Pell is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in VICE, Thought Catalog, Salon, LA Weekly, and Made Man. Prior to being a writer, he held just about every low-paying drudge job you can think of, from welder to warehouse clerk. A product of blue-collar New England, Pell currently resides in rural Ireland.

The Church of Chick

Jack Chick is dead, alas, and along with him any hope for new additions to his corpus of strangely endearing Evangelical scare tracts. Even those who aren"€™t aficionados might have encountered Chick's work (known as "€œChick tracts"€) at some point or another. Little 3-by-5 Bible tracts ...

Steven Patrick Morrissey

Morrissey’s Greatest Hits

It's time for Morrissey's periodic turn as a subject of two minutes"€™ hate. In a recent interview with news.com.au, the British singer provoked fury with his opposition to halal slaughter, a practice banned in several European countries. It is also now racist to state that London mayor Sadiq ...

Ted Cruz

Kamikaze Cruz

The big news of the day: Ted Cruz declined to endorse Donald Trump. Instead, he used his RNC address to deliver an extended passive-aggressive slight. Cruz urged delegates to "€œvote your conscience,"€ a rather strange phrase coming from a man who doesn"€™t appear to have one. Two years ...

Trouble Standard

Charles C. Johnson is, so far as I can tell, the first and only person ever permanently banned from using Twitter. For those of you not in the know, Johnson has built a career as a journalist on the right, appearing in such publications as the New York Post, the Los Angeles Times, Reason, and ...

Eggs Over Black

Activists set a new low in terms of abject stupidity this week by haranguing brunching millennials in that known fascist stronghold we call Manhattan. Called "€œBlack Brunch,"€ leftist hooligans in New York are hitting effete white progressives where it really hurts: over eggs ...

Don”€™t Tread on Metal

Every subculture must now be corralled into a wholly owned subsidiary of what's euphemistically called "€œsocial justice."€ Little did you know that even heavy metal was in dire need of progressive jihad, led by scolding new-media church ladies. It's a strange phenomenon in a scene with a ...

Against Stuff!

You knew that climate change could be blamed for any kind of weather, but did you know that the underlying cause is not, in fact, carbon emissions but racism? That was one of about a thousand thrown-together messages put forward by the People's Climate March, a recent NYC-centered network of ...

Ted Cruz’s Lying Circus

It might be a naïveté stemming from my mere 34 years on earth, but is Ted Cruz not the worst charlatan since "€œMan of the People"€ Slick Willie slimed his way into the White House of my youth? In preparation for his nakedly opportunistic presidential campaign coming two years hence, ...

Stop Me if You”€™ve Heard This …

America has been at or on the verge of war with Iraq for as much of my life as I can remember. Now, the John Doe currently known as Barack Obama is bombing the Iraqi insurgency formerly known as al-Qaeda. The whole hubbub makes me nostalgic for a simpler time: A time of yellowcake at the United ...

Bad Kitty! Fascist Kitty!

A couple of weeks ago I talked about how, in the age of political hypercorrectness, satire is now superfluous. Remember this when I tell you about the Hedonistic Imperative, a genetic engineering and nanotechnology project whose goal is the elimination of "€œsuffering in all sentient life."€ ...


Columnists

Sign Up to Receive Our Latest Updates!