On Wants

I have long eschewed the materialist, and joshed at the slaves of greed.  But I have a

On Needs

I don

Elf Care

In these uncertain times perhaps you have considered going back to school. How about

Ess & Em

My conduit to the world of, uh, exotic sex, is a fairly disgusting friend of mine. I

Sweet Home

I?m moving again. It seems a short while ago I dragged my possessions into this house

Purple Bear

I was on time, for once in my life, for dinner at the house of a new friend.  I

Disco Discount

Have you ever wondered where the 80s party people are? Probably you haven?t given it a

Account Abuse

When the office-soft bank manager asked me for my Social Security Number I fell into

Riders on the Storm

?Tis a weekend in late August and two non-indigenous tribes have descended on the twin

Some Fish

Yesterday, late in the afternoon, I was walking along the shore of a bay. A movement

Dan Aykroyd

Friday evening at the Lodge, in East Hampton, I walked in on the improbable vision of

Sex for free

There?s a rumor going around that men are not getting enough sex. This is all being

A Pisser

Rumor has it a local Hamptons restaurant owner has a proclivity unbecoming to the

Dawned on

5 am. It is still night outdoors, but I hear the early birds whistling. I could

Bio Haz

What do you think makes the perfect gift for Father?s Day? How about DNA results? My

Game Anyone?

Overnight these Hamptons which I inhabit have morphed into their familiar paradise. A

Happy Ending

K-Mart, in its brilliance, offers a ?Money Back Guaranteed Read?. Certain volumes of

New Jersey is Pro Bush

Last Friday New Jersey law makers almost took a formal vote to ban the ?Brazilian?

ROGER MARIS, OH YEAH!

If we have to give up water-boarding our enemies I have a terrific suggestion for a

OH NO HE DIDN’T

No one likes a ?smarty-pants’, but sadly, someone has to don the duds. I have

I SCREAM

In deference to the tradition of presenting a gift to one?s host I gave serious

WE NEED TO TALK

Today I got a call. ?Hi Christina, this is Cindy with FedEx. How is your day

NORML FOR ASPEN

Tuesday afternoon the Aspen Police Department returned a small amount of marijuana to a

Mi Casa Su Hell?

In 2003, three American men, civilian contractors, crashed their plane in the southern

Not Catherine

The more decrepit readership of this fine magazine may remember the 1980?s and a TV

Curb Alert

Some people believe ?you get what you pay for?. Others say, ?the best things in life

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