Joe Bob Briggs

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Joe Bob Briggs is the drive-in movie critic of Grapevine, Texas, currently resident in New York City, where his pop culture commentary appears in print, on television and at various dive bars that defy the modern world by allowing the smoking of cigars.


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New Orleans Is Not New Orleans Anymore

New Orleans Is Not New Orleans Anymore

June 08, 2017

CHARLESTON, S.C.—The video of Robert E. Lee being taken off his

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I Apologize for This Column in Advance

I Apologize for This Column in Advance

May 29, 2017

WASHINGTON—I would like to apologize in advance for not apologizing when

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Stop Fiddling With Your Goddamn Phone

Stop Fiddling With Your Goddamn Phone

May 17, 2017

NEW YORK—Stop fiddling with your phone. This is my theme today. I want you

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Vegas Knows What to Do With a High Roller

Vegas Knows What to Do With a High Roller

May 10, 2017

PALM BEACH, Fla.—Hunter S. Thompson used to mail me giant photos of objects

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Then Again, Maybe I’m a Black Man

Then Again, Maybe I’m a Black Man

April 24, 2017

CHATTANOOGA, Tenn.—I’m loving all these Ancestry.com commercials where

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Bikers in the White House

Bikers in the White House

February 27, 2017

OMAHA, Neb.—Several years back, two Hell’s Angels showed up in Dallas to

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Strange Transmissions From Earth. Houston, Please Verify

Strange Transmissions From Earth. Houston, Please Verify

February 07, 2017

TO: Shane Kimbrough, Commander, International Space Station FROM: Zeb

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A Brief History of the Redneck

A Brief History of the Redneck

January 30, 2017

KANSAS CITY, Mo.—Last week, when I outed myself as an Angry White Man, I got

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I Guess I’m an Angry White Man

I Guess I’m an Angry White Man

January 17, 2017

JUPITER, Fla.—The plastic remote on my Sunbeam Electric Heated Fleece Blanket

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I’m Fact-Checking Your Brain, Dude

I’m Fact-Checking Your Brain, Dude

January 03, 2017

NEW YORK—I’ve had battles with fact-checkers my whole life. I blame The

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How to Think Trump

How to Think Trump

December 28, 2016

NEW YORK—I don’t wanna say Donald Trump has contempt for established rules,

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Trump Gets as Serious as Texas

Trump Gets as Serious as Texas

December 17, 2016

AMARILLO, Tex.—Out on the western edge of town, right before you hit the

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How to Be a Billionaire

How to Be a Billionaire

December 09, 2016

PALM BEACH, Fla.—Now that President-elect Trump has promised to supercharge

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I Got Your Gluten Right Here, Pal

I Got Your Gluten Right Here, Pal

December 02, 2016

BURLINGTON, Vt.—Okay, the next person who tells me he’s gluten-free is

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Surrounded by Whiners

Surrounded by Whiners

November 16, 2016

BERKELEY, Calif.—Berkeley is, of course, the birthplace of the Free Speech

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The Ghoul Was Truly Cool

The Ghoul Was Truly Cool

November 05, 2016

CHICAGO—The death of an actor, especially a character actor, is always a

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Why I’m Suing Vanderbilt University

Why I’m Suing Vanderbilt University

October 28, 2016

PALM BEACH, Fla.—Maybe you missed this little item, but last month Obama shut

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Pussy Galore

Pussy Galore

October 14, 2016

NEW YORK—Editors all over America are dealing with the thorniest ethical

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Good Night, Sweet Prince of Gore

Good Night, Sweet Prince of Gore

October 07, 2016

NEW YORK—My friend Herschell Gordon Lewis, best known as the inventor of the

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“I’m Not Crazy, You Are”

“I’m Not Crazy, You Are”

September 27, 2016

NEW YORK—If you study Method acting at one of the great New York studios that

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Barney Fife Runs North Carolina

Barney Fife Runs North Carolina

September 23, 2016

NEW YORK—I’m gonna explain this Pat McCrory thing to you. As his world

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Oculus Schmoculus

Oculus Schmoculus

September 16, 2016

NEW YORK—I’m standing in “The Oculus” on 9/11 and several thoughts are

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Hi! I’m Jocelyn! I’m Passionate About Cloud Storage!

Hi! I’m Jocelyn! I’m Passionate About Cloud Storage!

September 09, 2016

NEW YORK—Hi, I’m Jocelyn, and I’m passionate about cloud storage! As

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Messieurs, Ship Some Burkinis Over Here

Messieurs, Ship Some Burkinis Over Here

September 02, 2016

SANDY HOOK, N.J.—I need some French gendarmes in riot gear out here at

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Muzzled!

Muzzled!

August 26, 2016

SAN GABRIEL, Calif.—Only two athletes in history have won medals in six

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‘New York Times’ Endorses Trump

‘New York Times’ Endorses Trump

August 19, 2016

NEW YORK—I can prove to a mathematical certainty that The New York Times will

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