#RESISTANCE

You Couldn’t Handle a Revolution

July 02, 2018

Moore said we have a problem in this country, and Colbert agreed, and then they said that the real problem was figuring out what to do about the problem. Moore showed a clip from his new film that showed him attempting to trespass at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate but being turned away by security, which only proves that Trump is the New Hitler and we need to start fighting back and organizing to bring him down.

Seriously, these idiots are a broken record. What’s worse, they’re a deaf broken record. They don’t hear how they sound.

“I see them as my children,” Moore said of the little brown babies screaming at the border that he will never meet nor help in any tangible way. What the adipose auteur fails to realize is that these children probably see him as nothing more than a sucker.

When Colbert continued to press Moore about, you know, since we have to do something, what are we gonna do, Moore said that Democrats have been “so wimpy and weak,” but now they’re all going to have to pretend that their children are being kidnapped and start freaking out over it all at the same time:

We’re not talking about political differences. We’re talking about thousands of children being kidnapped and put in jails….The only way that we’re going to stop this is eventually we’re all going to have to put our bodies on the line. You’re going to have to be willing to do this.

Putting your body on the line, Mr. Moore? How about putting it on a StairMaster instead?

Moore confessed to Colbert that he cries every day when reading the newspaper. And he made it clear he wasn’t being hyperbolic this time. He actually cries. He reads the newspaper and he cries. Every day. And he isn’t ashamed of saying this on national TV. Yet he seems to think he’ll be able to put his body on the line without immediately bursting into tears.

Nearly a third of Americans say that another Civil War is likely “soon.” If Michael Moore and Hamilton Nolan are the sort of soldiers the opposition is fielding, Civil War II will likely be over soon, too.


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