Vile Bodies

What the Zuck?!

March 06, 2017

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What the Zuck?!

Who was it who said that behind every great fortune lies a great crime? The answer is a Frenchman by the name of Balzac, known as a pretty good novelist in his time. Well, is stealing an idea and making untold billions as a result a great crime? I suppose if it were my idea and some ghastly nerd from New Jersey whom I had hired to apply it had stolen it, I’d classify it as such, but I would also make sure he never walked unassisted again.

But the Harvard rowing twins are gentlemen, and accordingly went to that institution’s president, a bum by the name of Summers, who told them to blow. Mark Zuckerberg was, after all, of the same faith and background, so why side with two naive WASPs who rowed brilliantly, dressed well, and stood up when ladies entered the room? Zuckerberg is now worth north of 40 billion smackers, after paying peanuts to the twins, who failed to get it on paper that Facebook was their idea: So much for a gentlemen’s agreement. The son of a dentist won big-time and even got a movie out of it. The Winklevosses got $65 million, or something close to it.

Zuckerberg plays fast and loose with the rules, and he and his wife now pose as great philanthropists, setting up a limited liability company to conduct charitable efforts. Adding insult to injury—and to our intelligence—they announced some time ago to great fanfare that they were giving 99 percent of their Facebook shares to charitable causes, their holdings being $45 billion at the time of the announcement. People stood up and cheered, movie stars genuflected, and Silicon Valley applauded, green with envy. As well it should, because the whole giving away of their fortune is a con, something endemic in the circles Zuckerberg and Chan, his wife, run around in.

“Zuck feels that more and more people are being left behind, hence let’s have more globalization, the primary reason why people have been and are being left behind.”

Under a limited liability company, Z&C are bound by fewer rules when it comes to directing their assets than they would be in other philanthropic vehicles. Zuckerberg, having screwed the twins out of their original idea, now craves public respect. He dresses in T-shirts and looks like the slob he is. He also desires political influence and power. A liberal to his fingertips, Zucker baby doesn’t give a toss that Facebook was and is the original facilitator and spreader of false news; just as long as he gets his cut, which he does every single time some sucker uses it. One billion 800 million people do. Facebook is oblivious to the spread of lies and disinformation and the damage it is causing. It carries no responsibility whatsoever for what it publishes. And most of it is left-wing crap.

This is the bad news, the good being that eventually people might wake up to the proliferation of false news and revert to more traditional sources of information. In the meantime, while he prints money, Zuckie baby is wailing about the state of the world. His latest gimmick is for more globalization. Although more in the real world means less for everyone, except for the fat cats and the E.U., Zuck feels that more and more people are being left behind, hence let’s have more globalization, the primary reason people have been and are being left behind. Go figure, as a very wise man once said in Brooklyn.

Zuckerberg has published a 5,000-plus-word diatribe against isolationists, which I am certain he defines as those who don’t use his product. We have to build a global community that works for everyone, he writes. I have heard such bullshit before, but it’s always been by some drunk at six in the morning at some dive. The Zucker is not a drunk—he’s far too physically ugly to drink—but he knows how to play the culture. “Everyone” is a very tricky word, one that has been used by demagogues since time immemorial. That’s why the wise and just-as-tricky-as-Zuckie Chinese do not allow his product to operate in their homeland. Now age 32, Mr.—and I use the honorific in a very broad sense—Z has enriched himself beyond the dreams of avarice, so he has no place to go as far as the root of all envy is concerned. So he has set his compass for the White House, or so I assume, because if the Donald can make it, why can’t he, the ugly duckling who could not get laid at Harvard and stole an idea from another in revenge?

So, not to worry, folks. With Zuckerberg supporting globalization, we will all be rich and happy one of these days. His abstract ideas are not only full of you-know-what, they are probably plagiarized from some idealist lefty high on LSD during the ’60s. He wants a “social infrastructure” and to create strong online communities. They are good sound bites for foolish young people glued to their mobiles, watching porn. Zuckerberg began his career and his $50 billion fortune by stealing. He should now recant, start a porno business, and leave globalization to the crooks in Brussels, who are just as crooked as he is but less rich.

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