I spoke too soon when I reported back in January that women no longer have any problems.
The armchair Freedom Riders at the weirdly named Southern Poverty Law Center (or “$PLC” as one of its dogged critics prefers) have been courageously, er, browsing the Internet and have uncovered a potentially devastating threat to not only America’s females, but its national security:
Dudes trading tips on getting laid.
Forget Arabs flying planes into buildings, you stupid cops and spies. The SPLC—whose dispatches are “sent to every law enforcement agency in the country”—has named the real enemy: white men unzipping their flies.
Woodland white supremacists? Old and tired. New hotness? According to the SPLC’s most recent “Intelligence Report,” the latest “hate group” plaguing the United States is the online “pickup artist” “community,” AKA the “manosphere.”
For those unfamiliar with the pickup artist (PUA) concept, think of Tom Cruise’s character Frank T. J. Mackey in the corrosively depressing indie hit Magnolia (1999). During “Seduce and Destroy” seminars in airport hotel conference rooms, the foul-mouthed Mackey coaches hapless beta males on how to score.
On a much lighter but still sexually explicit note, Adam Carolla skillfully sent up PUAs in 2009’s Still Waiting. Here Carolla’s Ken Halsband breaks down “tramp stamp” tattoo code for his geeky protégé:
One cross: loves the Bible. Four crosses: hates stepdaddy, loves cock.
“Roissy”—he took his nom de poon from a character in the S&M classic The Story of O —is the Tolkien of pickup artist Middle Earth, having invented or refined the manosphere’s glossary: alpha male, game, wingman, the “anti-slut defense” (“I don’t usually do this sort of thing…”), and negging (offering attractive women teasing insults instead of compliments: “You have really big ears. Don’t worry, I think it’s cute, kind of like a bunny.”).
Oddly, Roissy’s not on the SPLC’s roster of sinister “misogynist” sites. But the SPLC is none too amused by a site called “Boycott American Women”:
This site’s mission statement describes American women as “generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting….”
It reads like the minutes from the pitch meeting for Sex and the City.
Then there’s the False Rape Society, “an Internet news aggregator…that features stories about allegedly false rape accusations.” The SPLC brain trust doesn’t seem to realize these guys only have news to “aggregate” when mainstream papers run stories about false rape accusations. That’s what “aggregation” means.
Similarly, someone named Alcuin is castigated for this opinion:
Rape is now a political crime, not a crime of sex or violence. A man doesn’t have to rape in order to be a rapist. A man is a rapist until he somehow proves himself innocent.
This is what “progressives” have told us we’re supposed to think for the last thirty years.
The SPLC directs a particularly powerful stream of smug, oleaginous loathing upon a site called MarkyMark’s Thoughts:
Run by a New Jersey Tea Partier with a financially underwater house and a chronic medical condition, Marky Mark’s blog is filled with edifying thoughts like ‘Even Nice Girls are Sluts.’ His blog is not without pathos, however; to say the least, his is not a happy existence.
I guess I’m too dumb to appreciate the brave, hard work the SPLC is doing on my behalf. I’m just a stupid conservative woman who probably “votes against her own self-interest” and “needs her consciousness raised.”
Not that most males in the manosphere would find me appealing or sympathetic. Part of my fascination with these fellows—I read many of these sites regularly—stems from the fact that I’ve never been “hit on” or so much as whistled at on the street, so I have a spectator’s curiosity in these complex mating rituals. Some of their tales of conquest sound exaggerated, but their foundational principles about seduction are based on what we used to call human nature. With a few tweaks for tone and obscenity, their cruel, crude, yet commonsensical observations about sexual call-and-response are identical to what you’ll hear each week on Dennis Prager’s “Male-Female Hour.”
I also read these sites because many in the manosphere, particularly Human Stupidity and Roissy’s Chateau Heartiste, discuss more than sex. Race and class also come up for candid, heated discussion. This is ultimately why the SPLC’s Investigative Report so amused me. In 1971, the Southern Poverty Law Center appointed itself the nation’s Klanfinder General. It receives untold millions to investigate and expose “racist” “hate groups.” Yet somehow this report almost entirely neglects top-of-the-fold discussions of black IQ and illegal immigration that take place daily in the manosphere alongside the cataloguing of caddishness.
Right before the SPLC released their investigative report on the misogynist manosphere, the real-life Frank T. J. Mackey announced to the world that he was hanging up his dick.
Tucker Max, the 36-year-old author of the million-selling I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, told Forbes he’s gone into PUA retirement. He’s discovered Freud, the paleo diet, and—God help us—yoga and is now looking for a wife.
A nice girl, mind you. Not one of those crazy sluts.
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