Modern Weapons

Thor Losers

July 21, 2014

Multiple Pages
Thor Losers

Last week was a trifecta for Cultural Marxism in the comic-book world. Archie Andrews was shot to death trying to protect a gay senator, Captain America became black, and the Mighty Thor had a sex change.

Archie Andrews, the freckle-faced, milkshake-drinking ginger who has epitomized American wholesomeness since 1941, was murdered last Wednesday in Life With Archie #36. His friend Kevin Keller, an openly gay white senator with a black husband, was campaigning for gun control and was being threatened by some stereotypically rendered right-wing gun nut. But Archie stepped in and “heroically” ate a bullet for him.

“Archie is not a superhero like all the rest of the comic book characters,” explained Jon Goldwater, co-CEO of Archie Comics. “He’s human. He’s a person. When you wound him, he bleeds. He knows that. If anything, I think his death is more impactful because of that.” (The company’s other co-CEO is Nancy Silberkleit, who has been sued for sexual harassment by reportedly referring to all male employees as “Penis” rather than their names. She denied such harassment was even possible since males are not a “protected class.” At press time, I could not verify whether she also uses tremendously annoying words such as “impactful.”)

“What they’re doing goes far beyond mere ‘cultural appropriation.’ This is cultural pillaging.”

I’ll bet you didn’t know that before he gave his life to save a gay senator, Archie also spawned an interracial baby with a black woman.

Marvel Comics announced last week that the role of Captain America—who, like Archie, has existed as a Caucasian since 1941—will be assumed by a black man from Harlem who until now has played a sidekick known as “The Falcon.” The original Captain America—the white one—is giving his role over to The Falcon because he is now 90 years old and too feeble to be a superhero anymore. All-New Captain America is slated to launch in October.

“In 2014, this should be a thing that we shrug off,” says Marvel executive editor Tom Brevoort about the new black Captain America. “It shouldn’t be seen as revolutionary, but it still feels exciting.”

So if it’s no big thing, why did you do it in the first place, and why does it feel “exciting” to you?

Marvel also announced last week that the Mighty Thor, who has existed as a muscular male thunder god in Nordic folklore for millennia and became a male comic-book hero in 1962, will transmogrify into a woman starting in October, since the male Thor has been deemed “unworthy” to wield his legendary hammer. “This is not She-Thor,” said series writer Jason Aaron. “This is not Lady Thor. This is not Thorita. This is THOR. This is the THOR of the Marvel Universe. But it’s unlike any Thor we’ve ever seen before.”

In Norse mythology, Thor has a golden-haired wife named Sif. They could have easily made her into a comic-book superhero and thus avoided meddling with ancient European cultural tradition. The fact that they didn’t suggests that the primary motive is meddling with ancient European cultural tradition.

But last week’s three cases are hardly the first instances of PC injecting itself virus-like into the comic-book world in an attempt to mold impressionable young minds.

In 2011, Marvel murdered the Caucasian Peter Parker and swapped him out for the half-black/half-Puerto Rican “Miles Morales” as the human being who lurks beneath Spider-Man’s mask. According to Marvel’s half-Mexican Editor in Chief Alex Alonso, his writers’ “job is to re-imagine characters in a forward-thinking, progressive manner. … As a Hispanic, it is nice to see Spider-Man’s … last name resemble the last name of my son.”

Also in 2011, Action Comics had Superman—whose motto had been “truth, justice, and the American way”—appear before the United Nations to renounce his American citizenship because he’d become disgusted with the American way.

Batwoman, originally conceived in 1956 as a presumably heterosexual shiksa, reemerged in 2006 as a Jewish lesbian.

Nick Fury had existed as a Marvel Comics superhero since 1956 as a one-eyed white man. He’s still chugging along, but in 2001 he was one-upped by Ultimate Nick Fury, a one-eyed black man.

In 2012, DC Comics’ Green Lantern came out of the closet as a homosexual and married another man.

Last year saw the unveiling of Ms. Marvel, apparently the world’s first Pakistani Muslim comic-book superheroine.

And the modern X-Men represent a whole cast of “mutants” that include a Holocaust survivor, a Malcolm X clone, and a full dozen gay and bisexual superheroes.

When modern white singers such as Miley Cyrus twerk with black backup dancers and Katy Perry wears a geisha costume, the leftist chorus howls that they are guilty of the sin of “cultural appropriation,” and we all know that such appropriation isn’t appropriate.

Why, then, don’t we hear the same cries of “cultural appropriation” when Archie Comics’ Jewish co-CEOs green-light Archie’s murder in defense of a gay senator or Marvel’s Hispanic editor decides to make Captain America black and Thor into a woman? Why, especially, is a non-Nordic male allowed to rub his grubby fingers all over an ancient Nordic male god to suit his half-assed “progressive” agenda?

Would Nancy Silberkleit be OK with a film version where a Nazi skinhead plays the role of Moses? Would Alex Alonso be just bueno if Larry the Cable Guy were to portray Che Guevara in a cable-TV movie? Of course they wouldn’t. They don’t think it’s “progressive” for anyone to mess with their cultural icons.

What they’re doing goes far beyond mere “cultural appropriation.” This is cultural pillaging.

SIGN UP
Daily updates with TM’s latest


Comments



The opinions of our commenters do not necessarily represent the opinions of Taki's Magazine or its contributors.