Who says American manufacturing is dead? The nation has cornered the international market on making amends. Apologizing is a thriving industry. Call it Big Sorry.
It wasn’t always like this. The “Checkers” speech, with its low-key, almost sunny defiance, is a kinescope relic. Today, Nixon’s office would’ve issued a weasel-worded statement and given back the dog.
Here’s the highlight reel of this week in atonement:
• Actress Lisa Chan apologized for starring in Pete Hoekstra’s “racist” Congressional campaign commercial. Her mea culpa (“cuRpa”?) was graciously accepted by, er, MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell. (Last time I checked, the Irish were still white, although God knows that could change at any time.)
• Los Angeles disc jockeys John and Ken apologized for calling the late Whitney Houston a “crack ho.” Actually, they were speculating that other people were calling the singer that name behind her back while she was still alive, but why split hairs?
• After Jeremy Lin’s spectacular game against the Lakers, black Fox Sports columnist Jason Whitlock Tweeted, “Some lucky lady in NYC is gonna feel a couple of inches of pain tonight.” The Asian American Journalists Association (!?) demanded an apology and got one, although Whitlock blamed his “immature” sense of humor on all the Richard Pryor albums he listened to as a kid.
• Another black reporter was excoriated for his Tweets, this time of the “homophobic” variety. CNN’s Roland Martin joked that any man who enjoyed David Beckham’s Super Bowl underwear ad needed something called the “ish” “smacked” out of him. Martin was suspended, CNN apologized, and now the unfortunate broadcaster has “agreed” to “meet with GLAAD.” (Side note: Black people really like Twitter.)
• As I’ve noted here before, Big Gay never sleeps.
After he joked that “rehearsal is for fags,” Brett Ratner lost his job directing the Oscars. As penance, he’s been roped into directing a new video campaign for, why yes, GLAAD as a matter of fact.
(Is anyone else beginning to suspect that GLAAD’s well-oiled outrage machine is just a Heath Robinson device designed to lure rough trade into their offices?)
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