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The Week That Perished

June 04, 2017

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The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Belated, Overrated, and Decapitated Headlines

BEHEADING KATHY GRIFFIN
Kathy Griffin is a post-menopausal comedienne with the face of a brontosaurus who was labeled a “shrieking orange cunt-monster” in these very pages over six years ago. To say that she is an attractive woman is to lie.

Last Tuesday she briefly reemerged from yawning obscurity and inevitable ovarian cancer after posing for a photo holding a bloodied, decapitated Donald Trump head. It was part of a collaborative and allegedly conceptual shoot that according to photographer Tyler Shields was intended to “do something political” and “make a statement.”

As far as we can discern, the statement was, “Kill Donald Trump.” Occam’s Razor would dictate that this is an admonition to take a razor and lop off the president’s head.

The only puzzling thing about the reaction to the photo is that people were shocked. We were under the impression that about 95% of modern media consists of ceaseless propaganda about how Trump is probably worse than Hitler and will either blow up the planet or allow our cities to be engulfed in tsunamis of heated ocean water. The unified and endless message of this half-assed and frankly psychotic “resistance” is that Trump is a low-IQ and mentally deranged racist rapist fag-basher who must be stopped dead before he kills every last one of the planet’s 1.8 billion Muslims by strangling them individually with his laughably tiny fingers.

Or maybe the difference with Kathy Griffin’s photo was the fact that the fanatical left’s collective…and loudly articulated…and entirely non-ironic demands for the president’s head hadn’t yet crystallized/metastasized so perfectly in one image. Here was the infantile bloodlust of the “tolerant” egalitotalitarian left in vivid display with all the lurid garishness of an early 1960s slasher movie.

“Kathy Griffin cries out in pain as she strikes you.”

When even presumed allies such as Chelsea Clinton began turning on the incomparably hideous Griffin, the carrot-topped comic immediately backtracked and offered a videotaped apology, which she took great pains to explain was sincere:

It’s me Kathy Griffin. I sincerely apologize. I’ve just seen the reaction from the images. I’m a comic. I crossed the line. I moved the line. Then I crossed it. I went way too far. The image was very disturbing… It wasn’t funny. I get it. I made a lot of mistakes in my career. I will continue. I ask for forgiveness. Taking down the image… And I beg for your forgiveness.

But after being fired from many of her current paying gigs—including an enviable job as spokeswoman for Squatty Potty—Griffin held a press conference on Friday in which she suddenly didn’t seem so remorseful:

I don’t think I will have a career after this. I’m going to be honest, he broke me….What’s happening to me has never happened ever in the history of this great country. Which is that a sitting president of the United States and his grown children and the First Lady are personally, I feel, personally trying to ruin my life forever….It’s a bunch of white guys trying to silence me….This wouldn’t be happening to a guy. This is a woman thing.

Mind you, no one in the Trump family had done anything to “ruin her life” besides publicly commenting that the photo was in bad taste. But leftist morality has become so convoluted that one can make a death threat but cry victim when people say, “Hey, death threats aren’t cool.”

Kathy Griffin cries out in pain as she strikes you.

BILL MAHER DROPS “N” BOMB
Three-foot-tall shovel-nosed comedian Bill Maher is facing calls for his scalp after referring to himself as a “house nigga” during a discussion with Trump-hating Nebraska Republican Senator Ben Sasse. After Sasse invited Maher to come to Nebraska and “work in the fields,” the rootless cosmopolite Maher blanched and said, “Work in the fields? Senator, I’m a house nigga.”

Sasse later publicly chastised himself for not immediately lecturing Maher that the “N-word” was, like, totally unacceptable and horrible and wicked and mean and evil. For his part, Maher stood up on a stack of phone books to publicly apologize—something he’s never done to all the stupid toothless inbred retarded incestuous subhuman “white trash” he’s been bashing throughout his career.

THE BEATLES V. FEMINISM: WHICH IS WORSE?
In case you’ve never heard of them, The Beatles were a quartet of moptopped Liverpudlians that Muhammad Ali once referred to as “little faggots.” Their influence on popular culture was immense—all of it negative. John Lennon in particular was an insufferably nasal globalist tool, fraudulent working-class hero, and self-castrating male long before it became fashionable.

Amanda Marcotte is an insane and rape-obsessed feminist who once smeared supporters of the defendants in the Duke lacrosse rape case as “rape-loving scum,” even though the accused were all found innocent and the accuser went on to murder her own boyfriend.

Marcotte has hijacked the 50th anniversary of The Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album—which marked the crucially unfortunate turning point where rock ‘n’ roll simply became “rock” and forever lost all of its “roll”—to complain that the album is sexist because somehow it marked the abandonment of all the screaming female teenyboppers whose lust for The Beatles catapulted them into superstardom and wealth beyond Amanda Marcotte’s wildest dreams.

Amanda is clearly a deeply disturbed soul whose public life has been one long and painful cry for help. She could use a little help from her friends—assuming she has any.


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