The Week’s Most Demented, Fermented, and Discontented Headlines
KLANSMEN SAY CABLE NETWORK PAID THEM TO FABRICATE “HATE” EVENTS FOR “REALITY” SHOW
If there’s any group in America that could use a better PR agent, it’s the Ku Klux Klan.
Although they are unlikely to be believed simply because they are members of America’s Most Hated Hate Group, several Klansmen have told Variety magazine that producers of an alleged “pure documentary” scheduled to air on January 10—but was abruptly canceled by the A&E network last week—paid them in cash to fabricate “racist” events. This includes saying the word “nigger,” pretending to quarrel with their relatives about their Klan membership, and even conducting a cross burning they hadn’t planned to hold.
The shelved fake reality show—titled Escaping the KKK: A Documentary Series Exposing Hate in America—was billed by its producer Rob Sharenow as being “not rehearsed or prepackaged.” But according to Robert Nichols of the Tennessee White Knights of the Invisible Empire:
It was all made up—pretty much everything we said and did was fake and because that is what the film people told us to do and say…. I said something and used the word ‘blacks.’ Then the producer interrupted me and said ‘No, no, no. We want him to use the word “nigger!”’
Nichols says the producers even purchased the wood, burlap, and kerosene for a cross burning, which turned into two cross burnings “’cause they wanted to reshoot the scenes.” He says that the whole idea of a cross burning was “100% the TV guys’ idea and staged.”
According to Chris Brasher of Kentucky’s Nordic Order Knights, who claims he was paid $500 in cash per day:
A&E would give me an order of what to say–it was scripted. My wife isn’t a member of the Klan. A&E was telling her to say to me, “If you don’t leave the Klan I am going to leave you. I don’t want to leave my husband, but if he doesn’t leave the Klan I will.” It was a joke, really. My wife and I get along fine. She was never going to leave me because I am in the Klan. A&E made that all up and told us what to say.
A&E representatives claim they are conducting an investigation into the allegations. We predict that the conclusion of their investigation will be that Klansmen are the embodiment of pure evil.
BOY SCOUTS TELL GIRL: “YOU’RE NOT A BOY”
Until about a year ago, Jodi Maldonado of scenic Secaucus, NJ considered herself a girl. Then she declared that she’s a boy named Joe and attempted to join the local Boy Scouts. Now she and her mother are whining that the Boy Scouts “kicked me out because I am a girl—born a girl.”
Well, one would assume that’s because they’re called the Boy Scouts, even though technically, eight-year-old Jodi’s age would require her to join the Cub Scouts instead—or, in a sane world, the Brownies.
An official statement from the Boy Scouts of America explained that the organization is OK with fags, but it draws the line at trannies:
The policy of the Boy Scouts of America is to follow the biological gender of applicants. Although the Scouts have accepted homosexual counselors and members, they have held firm on recognizing the sexual identity of persons based on their biology.
Perhaps the seemingly unstoppable Trans Tide is facing an undertow. According to a statement last summer from the American College of Pediatricians:
Facts – not ideology – determine reality….A person’s belief that he or she is something they are not is, at best, a sign of confused thinking. When an otherwise healthy biological boy believes he is a girl, or an otherwise healthy biological girl believes she is a boy, an objective psychological problem exists that lies in the mind not the body, and it should be treated as such….Conditioning children into believing that a lifetime of chemical and surgical impersonation of the opposite sex is normal and healthful is child abuse.
“Facts – not ideology – determine reality” should be tattooed on the forehead of every modern American college student.
EPISCOPAL CATHEDRAL NAMES “RACISM, ANTI-SEMITISM, XENOPHOBIA AS SINS”
As further evidence that much of Christendom is in thrall to the larger and more pervasive Global Church of Cultural Marxism, St. Mark’s Episcopal cathedral in Seattle has officially aligned itself with the social justice idea of what constitutes a sin:
We will reject White Nationalism….We will name racism, anti-Semitism, and xenophobia as sins. We believe all people are made in God’s image, and we affirm diversity as a gift, blessing and opportunity for our nation….We will identify, report and confront hate speech and behavior—against all ethnic and religious groups, women, LGBTQ people, immigrants, people with disabilities and all marginalized groups.….We will embrace Muslims as fellow Americans and stand with our local mosques in congregational solidarity….We will denounce any defamation and banning of Muslims and will seek to disrupt any attempt to require registration of Muslims.
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing to themselves. Or maybe they do—in which case, don’t forgive them.
ANTI-WHITE RAP STAR SACRIFICES CHICKENS IN HER CLOSET
Azealia Banks is a 25-year-old Harlem-born singer with an estimated net worth of $3 million. She has publicly stated that she bears “a general hatred for all straight white men,” has experienced urges to ‘kill one of those crackers in their sleep,” and publicly wished for “the biggest burliest blackest negroes” to “run a train” on Sarah Palin.
Last Friday she posted a video where explains how she’s going to scrape up the blood and feathers from a closet in her apartment in which she’s sacrificed chickens for the past three years in brujeria rituals.
At press time it remains unclear whether she subsequently fried the chickens and ate them.
“TEENAGE BOREDOM” BLAMED FOR CROSS-COUNTRY MALL BRAWLS
On the day after Christmas, juveniles and teenagers and teens, some groups numbering in the hundreds, tore the living shit out of at least 15 shopping malls across this once-great and possibly great-again nation. The New York Times blamed the violent mob melees on “Teenage Boredom.”
We encourage The New York Times to give all these bored teens janitorial jobs in the offices of The New York Times.
MEXICAN MAN ACCUSED OF RAPING 13-YEAR-OLD HAD BEEN DEPORTED 10 TIMES
Tomas Martinez-Maldonado is an illegal alien—the Mexican kind, not the Martian kind, because we’ve never known a Martian to overstay their welcome. Since 2003, he has been deported to from the USA Mexico a staggering 10 times and was subject to voluntary removal an additional nine times. Something must really suck about Mexico for him to keep coming back here so much.
He is now being detained in Kansas and charged with raping a 13-year-old girl on a Greyhound bus in September.
When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.
WHITE MAN STAGES FAKE ANTI-BLACK HATE CRIME UPON HIS WHITE FAMILY TO APPEAR LESS RACIST THAN HIS NEIGHBORS
Some white people will go to absurd lengths to prove they aren’t as “racist” as their neighbors. This seems to be the case—or perhaps there’s even a wackier reason—for why David Williams of Denton, TX, set his cars and motorcycle ablaze on December 12 and spray-painted NIGGER LOVERS on his own garage door. His wife Jenny appears to have originally bought the hoax, because she posted the following online after her husband awoke her to inform her that their vehicles were on fire:
Yes, we are white. It just so happens that we aren’t as racist as someone would like us to be.
Mrs. Williams says her husband eventually confessed to staging the entire event and that he will be arrested upon his release from a mental facility.
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