News

The Week That Perished

January 01, 2017

ANTI-WHITE RAP STAR SACRIFICES CHICKENS IN HER CLOSET
Azealia Banks is a 25-year-old Harlem-born singer with an estimated net worth of $3 million. She has publicly stated that she bears “a general hatred for all straight white men,” has experienced urges to ‘kill one of those crackers in their sleep,” and publicly wished for “the biggest burliest blackest negroes” to “run a train” on Sarah Palin.

Last Friday she posted a video where explains how she’s going to scrape up the blood and feathers from a closet in her apartment in which she’s sacrificed chickens for the past three years in brujeria rituals.

At press time it remains unclear whether she subsequently fried the chickens and ate them.

“TEENAGE BOREDOM” BLAMED FOR CROSS-COUNTRY MALL BRAWLS
On the day after Christmas, juveniles and teenagers and teens, some groups numbering in the hundreds, tore the living shit out of at least 15 shopping malls across this once-great and possibly great-again nation. The New York Times blamed the violent mob melees on “Teenage Boredom.”

We encourage The New York Times to give all these bored teens janitorial jobs in the offices of The New York Times.

MEXICAN MAN ACCUSED OF RAPING 13-YEAR-OLD HAD BEEN DEPORTED 10 TIMES
Tomas Martinez-Maldonado is an illegal alien—the Mexican kind, not the Martian kind, because we’ve never known a Martian to overstay their welcome. Since 2003, he has been deported to from the USA Mexico a staggering 10 times and was subject to voluntary removal an additional nine times. Something must really suck about Mexico for him to keep coming back here so much.

He is now being detained in Kansas and charged with raping a 13-year-old girl on a Greyhound bus in September.

When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. 

WHITE MAN STAGES FAKE ANTI-BLACK HATE CRIME UPON HIS WHITE FAMILY TO APPEAR LESS RACIST THAN HIS NEIGHBORS
Some white people will go to absurd lengths to prove they aren’t as “racist” as their neighbors. This seems to be the case—or perhaps there’s even a wackier reason—for why David Williams of Denton, TX, set his cars and motorcycle ablaze on December 12 and spray-painted NIGGER LOVERS on his own garage door. His wife Jenny appears to have originally bought the hoax, because she posted the following online after her husband awoke her to inform her that their vehicles were on fire:

Yes, we are white. It just so happens that we aren’t as racist as someone would like us to be.

Mrs. Williams says her husband eventually confessed to staging the entire event and that he will be arrested upon his release from a mental facility.

SIGN UP
Daily updates with TM’s latest


Comments



The opinions of our commenters do not necessarily represent the opinions of Taki's Magazine or its contributors.