The Week That Perished

July 01, 2018

Multiple Pages
The Week That Perished

The Week’s Scariest, Wariest, and Hairiest Headlines

According to Maryland police, last Thursday 38-year-old Jarrod Warren Ramos entered the office of the Capital Gazette newspaper in Annapolis with a shotgun and blew away five people.

Ramos had a longstanding feud with the paper going back to 2011 when it published a story about him pleading guilty to criminally harassing a woman he’d attempted to befriend on Facebook. According to the woman, Ramos had contacted her out of the blue and told her she’d been the only person who was kind to him years ago in school. When she suggested he seek counseling, she says he launched a sustained campaign of vitriol against her that included “vulgar names” and demands that she kill herself. She obtained a restraining order against Ramos.

After the Capital Gazette reported on the case, Ramos began harassing staff members at the paper as well. On Twitter, Ramos said that although he’d like to see the paper stop publishing, “it would be nicer” if two of its reporters were to “cease breathing.” Over the years he had attempted suing the paper, to no avail.

On the day of the shooting, the avatar on Ramos’s Twitter page was a photo of former Capital Gazette reporter Eric Hartley. A banner image showed photos of the paper’s former owner as well as former editor Thomas Marquardt, who told a reporter after the attack that over the years, “I was seriously concerned he would threaten us with physical violence.”

Ramos’s Twitter page contained the following message:

Dear reader: I created this page to defend myself. Now I’m suing the shit out of half of AA County and making corpses of corrupt careers and corporate entities.

The page had been inactive until last Thursday moments before the shooting, when Ramos posted a message that said, “Fuck you, leave me alone.”

Ramos has been arrested and charged with five counts of first-degree murder.

“When you club a piñata, candy pours out—not heroin and decapitated heads.”

There has emerged not one pinkie toenail’s worth of evidence that the shooting had a political motive. All the evidence suggests that this was a guy who did not deal well with rejection—an FBI profiler describes Ramos as an “injustice collector.”

Regardless of the evidence, the establishment media placed the blame where they always do—“You caused this, Mr. President” belched Beltway correspondent Andrew Feinberg.

In an election year crammed with some of the furthest right candidates the far right has burped up since the days of George Lincoln Rockwell, the woolly hinterlands of North Carolina have produced possibly the most entertaining Christian Identity White Supremacist Anti-Semitic Neo-Confederate Former Chemical Engineer in political history.

In May, 75-year-old Russell Walker won nearly two-thirds of the vote in the GOP primary for North Carolina House District 48. Walker, a giant ruddy ginger lump of a man, speculates that his opponent lost the race the minute he admitted he was Catholic, because white Southerners don’t like papists and never have.

According to Newsweek, Walker claims that “GOD IS A WHITE SUPREMACIST, JEWS ARE SATANIC,” which is an admittedly unique campaign strategy. It quotes Walker:

What is wrong with being a white supremacist? God is a racist and a white supremacist…Someone or group has to be supreme and that group is the whites of the world.… There is no such thing as equality. Someone or something has to be superior and someone and something has to be inferior….the Jews are not Semitic they are satanic as they all descend from Satan…God made the races and he is the greatest racist ever.

It’s going to be really hard to fit all that on a T-shirt.

Walker is a self-admitted adherent of Dual Seedline Christian Identity. The Christian Identity movement preaches that white Euroepans are the descendants of the ancient Hebrew patriarchs. The Dual Seedline sect also preaches that Eve had sex with Satan and that Jews are biological descendants of the Devil.

Walker’s website—which has an absolutely adorable picture of him posing with his “little white ass,” features some intriguing policy planks in what he calls his “Populist Platform”:

• Make it illegal for employers to fire workers for comments they did not make in the workplace.
• End the War on Drugs, which Walker calls “a war on the poor”
• End compulsory vaccinations
• End compulsory water fluoridation
• Deport all illegal aliens
• Make English the official state language

Naturally, the North Carolina Republican Party has loudly disavowed Walker, which makes him even more exciting, because he won the primary and there’s not a thing the North Carolina Republican Party can do about it. They’re stuck with him.

On November 6, Walker faces off against fourteen-year Democratic incumbent Garland Pierce, a black minister. Although Walker concedes he doesn’t have a chance of winning, there’s a 95% chance this will be the year’s most hilarious political campaign.

After hundreds of thousands of years of willful hatred and ignorance, roughly three years ago everyone in the world suddenly became enlightened to the fact that gender is nothing more than a social construct and that if a man claims he’s a woman, then by gum, he’s a woman, even if he’s rocking a beard that would make Grizzly Adams jealous.

Jacksonville is a scuzzy city in Florida, the nation’s scuzziest state. So far this year the city has seen the murders of three “transgender women,” which is a dog whistle that the press uses to denote “delusional men who have some sort of psychosexual problem that makes them think they’re women.”

And not only have all three murder victims been “trans women,” they are also all black, so we’re basically talking about six hate crimes here—at the very least.

On February 4, the body of Celine Walker was found in an Extended Stay America motel room in southern Jacksonville.

On June 1, the corpse of Antash’a English, whose parents apparently had no respect for the English language or they wouldn’t have plopped an apostrophe in their daughter’s name, was found with two bullet holes in the abdomen between two abandoned houses on the north side of town.

Then last Sunday, the cadaver of Cathalina Christina James was found at a Quality Inn and Suites near where Celine Walker was murdered.

Police have yet to allege that this may all be the handiwork of the same killer, but that hasn’t stop the stereotypically hysterical local trans activists from stomping and screaming and shrieking and ululating at the top of their tiny little glitter-speckled lungs that the police hate them and don’t want to protect them and might even be jerking off to the murders because transphobia makes people do really sick things.

Supposedly a “Trans Lives Matter” march of some sort is being arranged in Jacksonville. We’re sure that will stop the killer—not!

But if they’re really sincere about the value of trans lives, they may want to stop killing themselves.

Mexican presidential frontrunner Andrés Manuel López Obrador—what the hell is it with these Spaniards and their ridiculously long names, don’t they think it’s a little supercilioso?—has announced that it’s a “human right” for the undersized, bean-nibbling masses whom he may soon rule to just ignore the idea that there’s a “border” between Mexico and the USA and they should just go up there and squeeze every last drop of leche y miel out of those evil palefaced gringo ghosts who have humliated his people for centuries with all their technology and organization skills and their tendency not to rip out people’s beating hearts or to decapitate them to appease their primitive, mentally challenged gods.

Obrador insists that Mexico will not become Trump’s “piñata.” We don’t think it will. See, when you club a piñata, candy pours out—not heroin and decapitated heads.

When stupid, affluent, arrogant, sheltered, punchable neo-Marxists in the Anglosphere struggle to sift through communism’s ashes to find a single example of it ever working for a minute, they always point to the countries of Scandinavia, which have abundant natural resources and tiny populations that until very recently were almost entirely white.

But in the past five years, Sweden—population 10 million—has had 600,000 immigrants forcibly injected into the nation’s bloodstream, which is causing some Swedes to reconsider whether the welfare state was really such a swell idea in the first place. Suddenly there are new cultural phenomena such as female genital mutilation and riots and street gangs and more raping than a three-day Viking tailgate party in Valhalla.

Speaking of Vikings, the recent demographic pressures that have indigenous Swedes in a vise will determine how much Viking they still have in them.

We’ve often written about false rape charges by women for two reasons: 1) because it happens a lot; 2) because no one else writes about it.

But to our disgrace, we have almost entirely ignored the phenomenon of men falsely accusing other men of raping them. This is inexcusable for two reasons: 1) because it happens; 2) because it’s hilarious.

Twenty-three-year-old Evan Curtis Hudson of Davidson, TN, is being charged with filing a false report after he lodged a June 22 complaint whining that his cellmate had found him sexually desirable enough to take him by force. Although Hudson claims to have been raped, at press time we were unable to determine whether he also says he was pillaged.

But now police have determined that although he may have wished he’d been raped, Hudson wasn’t raped at all and will now have to spend his time behind bars wearing the invisible jacket of a snitch who isn’t even hot enough to rape.

In the most allegorical American news story since, oh, maybe the end of the Civil War, news out of the chewed-up Rust Belt city of Buffalo, NY, is that a white man has drowned to death in the course of attempting to rescue a black man who was drowning to death (and proceeded to drown to death despite the white man’s efforts).

According to an eyewitness who apparently couldn’t be bothered to help either man and thus is still alive, “It was only a couple of seconds before they both just sunk like rocks.”

Make of that what you will.

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Every Monday, Jim Goad reads the previous day’s “Week That Perished” on his podcast. This week’s episode includes an interview with the aforementioned North Carolina Republican candidate Russell Walker.

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