News

The Week That Perished

August 06, 2017

THE WEEK IN FAGGOTRY
Sometimes it seems as if the gay lobby won’t be satisfied until the rest of the world all pukes up one giant rainbow stream of vomit in unison.

A new TV show features “a Muslim lesbian falling for a black woman” after the black woman is released from jail for assaulting a white man who said something racist.

An article in Pink News, which is gayer than an HIV-flavored box of bonbons wrapped in shiny pink ribbons, can barely conceal its joy that “the first flower on earth was bisexual.” Scientists have discovered a 140-million-year-old flower that had “both male and reproductive parts,” which only goes to show “that sexualities and genders outside of the straight and cisgender have always existed in nature.”

If that hermaphroditic fossilized flower could speak, it would probably say, “what a bunch of fags.”

Finally, the Gay Mafia is proud to announce that “gay dolphins” have been spotted cavorting lasciviously off the coast of western Australia.” Newsweek proclaims that “Homosexual behavior in the animal kingdom is rife,” possibly unaware that “rife” doesn’t typically betoken something good.

STUDY: “COMPETITIVE VICTIMHOOD” LEADS TO INTERSECTIONAL CONFLICT
A recent research paper published in European Journal of Social Psychology examined the phenomenon known in leftist circles as “intersectionality” and among sane people as the “Oppression Olympics” and “cannibalism among the oppressed.” Bearing the unwieldy title of “Competition over collective victimhood recognition: When perceived lack of recognition for past victimization is associated with negative attitudes towards another victimized group,” the study’s authors note that:

The victim status is highly coveted because it tends to empower victimized groups, which are perceived as morally superior, entitled to sympathy, consideration, and protection against criticism….Conversely, the lack of victimhood status poses a problem to minorities, since it reduces their ability to garner attention, protection, and even financial rewards (reparations, for example). This explains why the denial of victimhood status can be so troubling: denial of victimhood recognition can lend credence to a denial of help and assistance.

We pray for the day when society returns to a state where victimhood is a matter of shame rather than pride. Sadly, that day may never come until all the proud victims eat one another.

CUDDLING IN THE AGE OF TRUMP
The former hippie magazine Rolling Stone committed editorial hara-kiri with an absolutely fraudulent article about a sinister Rape Wave among the “overwhelmingly blond students” at the University of Virginia.

Continuing to aggressively discredit itself, the mag recently ran an article titled “Why Professional Cuddling Is Booming Under Trump.” It reviews a burgeoning industry wherein the innumerable snowflakes who melted down after Donald Trump’s election pay up to $80 an hour to have other people cuddle them and tell them everything will be absolutely positively okeydokey and cuddly-wuddly.

The article cites a certain Marcia Baczynski, co-founder of Cuddle Party, whose business boomed under an influx of clients who “feel triggered by Trump’s actions, history of sexual abuse allegations and manipulative behaviors.”

Would it be unkind to wish that these people cuddle one another so hard that they forget to breathe?

 

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