Wild Things

The Vegetarian Personality

May 28, 2012

If you’re one of the fortunate few who’s never been on the receiving end of a full-blown vegan guilt trip, it tends to go something like this:

Why don’t you educate yourself and do some research and read a book so you won’t sound so stupid? If you bloodmouth carnist corpsemunchers want to drink milk, sure, go ahead and guzzle your pus excretions from poisoned bovines. If you want to eat your feces-encrusted meat, well, don’t count on me to visit you in the hospital when your colon melts into a sopping sewage pile of bleeding tumors and impacted fecal boulders. Don’t ask for my sympathy as you writhe and wither and die as the souls of 100 trillion slaughtered animals laugh at you. Go right ahead and gorge your fat jowls on your McDeathburgers and then get banished to a cold, dark hole where you’re forced to listen to the sound of geese being slaughtered for eternity. Maybe those pained shrieks will terrify you so much, you’ll involuntarily defecate and require the cancer-ward nurse to come in and clean up after you, making you feel ashamed and helpless and useless and powerless and all the other feelings of weakness and self-hatred that naturally precede all insight and remorse and positive change.

Like the most dedicated anti-abortion crusader or Holocaust devotee, they’ll flash poster-sized images of one ghastly atrocity at you after the next. It’s like some inverse form of porno to them. They hate what they’re seeing, but they can’t seem to see enough of it.

The only difference is that the pictures they’re showing you are of animals rather than humans. They claim not to see a difference, and they’ll accuse you of “speciesism” if you disagree.

Because it’s based on wishful thinking, radical egalitarianism inevitably leads to insanity. And because “animal rights” lunatics hyperextend their definition of things such as “social justice” and “equality” to embrace every life form below Homo sapiens, that’s why they’re more annoying and militant than all other egalitarian activists. They’re proposing something even crazier than those who strain to argue that all humans are equal.

Such lunacy causes them to liken themselves to abolitionists and refer to the honey industry as “bee slavery.” It’s why they equate slaughterhouses to concentration camps. It’s why animal “liberators” compare their actions to the Underground Railroad.

It’s why you find permanently aggrieved nitpicking splinter groups such as Vegans of Color, whose website explains why they “don’t have the luxury of being single-issue.” (Hey, no one’s arguing you don’t have multiple issues!) That site also stresses “the necessity of anti-racist and critical whiteness analysis within veganism (in order to help build coalitions and solidarity).…”

As we all know, nothing builds solidarity more than constantly criticizing white people.

Ironically, it’s all merely an underhanded form of pure animal aggression. It’s yet another way to act superior in the name of equality.

Is a lion who kills a gazelle somehow “exploiting” it? Does the gazelle have a “right” not to be eaten?

Would the whales save you?

Once the Buddha died, wasn’t he eaten by worms?

If life is so sacred, why does everything die?

Here’s a new concept for you: It’s called the “food chain.” Or the “web of life.” You could learn a lot from it.

I can think of one case in which animals are superior to humans: Animals don’t project their daffy delusions onto us.

 

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