Middle East

The Turd World

June 15, 2012

However, a few beers with a scientist has changed my mind for good. He explained that in 2010, a group of physicists proved that Phillip K. Dick’s “multiple-future” theories are not mere science fiction. It’s entirely possible that parallel universes exist. When you decide to take the right turn at a fork in the road, there could be an entire other world where the decision to turn left exists and another “you” lives out those consequences. The “you” who turned left isn’t going to catch up with your car and merge. He’s gone for good.

That’s when it hit me. Islam isn’t far behind. They’ve chosen a different path. Where our soldiers see death as a loss, they see it as a victory. They’re no longer in line with our space-time continuum. We shouldn’t get out of the Middle East because you can’t fast-forward progress. We need to get out of the Middle East because they’ve chosen to irrevocably regress.

Do you remember when we forbade calendars with pictures of kittens on them? Me, neither. How about that strange epoch when Christians insisted women could only hang out with men they breast-feed? Never happened. Islam isn’t a culture that needs to be coaxed toward Western values. It’s a culture that has gone off the deep end forever. I no longer care if it’s because of inbreeding or cultural hijacking or brainwashing. That part of the world is irretrievably lost and there’s nothing we can do about it. Let’s cut the cord and bid them adieu for good. They can hop on their camels and drive through whatever alternate universe they choose and take whatever turn they want as long as they don’t end up in our backyard.

 

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