PC World

The PC Gods Must Be Crazy

May 11, 2012

Multiple Pages
The PC Gods Must Be Crazy

Every time a human sacrifice is made to appease the gods of political correctness, the Sane Community yells questions such as, “Wait! What exactly did the person do that was so wrong?” and “What parts were factually inaccurate?” and sometimes “Are you sure it wasn’t just a joke?”

To ask such questions is to miss the point. Political correctness isn’t a political belief where people want to stimulate a discussion and get to the truth. It’s a totalitarian religion dedicated to the exact opposite. They hate hatefacts and want all sinners to be burned at the stake no matter what the collateral damage. The unfortunate thing about their holy war is that it’s virtually nothing but collateral damage.

My colleague Chuck Ross just explained why Naomi Schaefer Riley shouldn’t have been fired. The same could be said for Brett Ratner, Juan Williams, Rick Sanchez, and the “Chink in the Armor” guy, but despite this barrage of well-publicized examples people keep saying political correctness is “sooo 90s.”

“The unfortunate thing about their holy war is that it’s virtually nothing but collateral damage.”

Sorry, but the witch hunts are alive and well and the PC guillotine has continued chopping off heads since the baby boomers traded their sense of humor for their sense of holiness somewhere around 1980. Here’s ten more you can throw at someone the next time you’re told PC is a paper tiger.

In 1999, the director of the DC mayor’s constituent services was let go for using the word “niggardly.” This happens so often, the Urban Dictionary defines it as a “word that will get u fired…even though it doesn’t mean anything offensive.”

In 1999, this female moderator at The Straight Dope’s message board was fired because she said people shouldn’t care what race you are and if you’re asked to list your ethnicity on government forms, you should put “American.” To be against racism this much is actually racist. Got it?

In 2001, this Denver Nuggets basketball coach was being harassed by an angry drunk fan who kept yelling, “You suck!” Issel blew kisses at first but the fan wouldn’t stop and Issel eventually lost his temper and reportedly said, “Go drink another beer you fucking Mexican piece of shit.” Issel quickly went from making $2.5 million a year to making $0 a year.

In 2004, this Hispanic worker at a Florida telecommunications company made the mistake of having a BLT for lunch. Her Muslim employers were offended by her “flesh of swine” and sacked her on the spot. PC apologists pointed out that she had been warned about pork before and was eating the BLT as an act of defiance. What a bitch.

In 2006, when this talk-show host was discussing Condoleezza Rice’s dream of becoming commissioner of the National Football League he made it clear he was all for it. He also said it would be a huge coup—only he said “coon” by accident. Lenihan was clearly mortified by his mistake and within seconds he told viewers he was “totally, totally, totally, totally sorry.” Apparently four “totallys” weren’t enough, and he lost his job anyway.

During an interview in 2008, a female golf buddy of Tiger Woods was kidding around about how difficult it is to compete with him. Someone joked that they should gang up on him and while laughing she quipped, “lynch him in a back alley.” She doesn’t have a boss and she refused to apologize but the Puritans still needed a sacrifice. It was the biggest story in golf that week so the editor of Golfweek put a picture of a noose on the cover. Finally, someone steps into the crosshairs. He lost his job the next day.

In 2011, this ESPN announcer said goodbye to 25 years of announcing football games for the crime of calling an asshole an asshole. He had come under fire in 2005 for daring to call a woman “sweetheart” so you can imagine the outrage when, six years later, he said to a woman, “Listen to me, sweet baby, let me tell you something….” She was infuriated by the remark and demanded he refrain from talking to her like a child so he said, “OK then, listen to me, asshole.” Despite his apologies, he was instantly forced into early retirement.

Also last year, this UCLA professor conducted a SCIENTIFIC STUDY that found no correlation between particulate pollution and death rates. In other words, big trucks aren’t ruining the planet. Instead of pointing out flaws with a study that dares go against the Holy Green Narrative, the administration let him go.

In January, this British soccer player was joking about a hulking gay rugby player named Gareth Thomas who was on the reality show Big Brother. Steele Tweeted, “I wouldn’t fancy the bed next to Gareth Thomas,” followed by, according to conflicting accounts (he deleted the Tweet) “#padlockedarsehole,” “#padlockmyarse,” or “padlock my arse.” Though it is clearly impossible to padlock one’s anus, the LGBT community screamed like ten million bloodthirsty pink hamsters. The league canceled Lee’s contract and padlocked their doors. At press time, their arses were unavailable for comment, possibly because they’ve been padlocked.

A couple of weeks ago, a white male editor at a black women’s magazine was canned for making “racist” remarks on his private Facebook page. And by “racist” they meant that he thought Bill Ayers was a radical, Al Sharpton was a race-baiter, and townhall.com is a reputable news site. The fact that all of these are unequivocally true is a hatefact.


There I go again, trying to find reason in their crusade. Logic plays no part in their decisions about what constitutes cultural blasphemy. All they know is that their insatiable gods need more sacrifices. All I know is their gods must be crazy.


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