Taki's Mag

As many readers of Taki’s Mag know, America has recently experienced a nasty outbreak of white racism. While the hate-mongering culprits have been duly punished, it is clear that this stamp-out-the-brushfire approach is hardly a long-term solution. At best, white racism merely crawls underground and gestates; at worst it migrates elsewhere. Especially exasperating is that for nearly a half-century, America has tried to eliminate this pox, and even draconian measures such as compulsory sensitivity training have failed. Clearly, some fresh approaches are required.

I suggest two modest (and, I daresay, innovative) proposals.

It is well-known that conservatives are especially racism-prone, though few will publicly confess their sin. As Charles Murray observes in Coming Apart, these types live in all-white, often gated communities, send their children to schools that are at least 90% white, and otherwise avoid any contact with African Americans—especially of the Trayvon Martin variety. 

It is equally obvious, as any social-science professor will explain, that racial separatism encourages dangerous stereotypes. So how can we get these closet racists to better understand socially disadvantaged youths? I don’t mean some superficial encounter as one might have at a charity banquet where shaking hands with carefully selected youngsters is the only contact—I mean full interaction in a confined space for an extended period.

Here’s my solution. Conservative magazines such as National Review should be forced to regularly sponsor cruises in which a thousand or more socially disadvantaged and numerically underrepresented fellow travelers are rewarded the opportunity to rub elbows with in-house political pundits. These cruises usually last a week to ten days, and since everybody is in close quarters, socializing is almost 24/7.

Surely some foundation, or even the federal government itself, can sponsor 100 inner-city youths for these cruises. By social-engineering standards, the cost would be cheap—$250,000 would cover everything, including a few hundred in spending money. This is a 100% win-win arrangement: National Review raises extra money and the cruise line adds “paying” customers. Most importantly, a week is ample time to demolish dangerous stereotypes. Imagine the attitude transformation when, say, a small-town Iowa lawyer encounters an inner-city youth from Newark at the swimming pool or bar. The initial interaction might be a bit awkward, but surely after a week of drinking together and sharing chitchat about this and that, our lawyer will think twice about prejudging these youngsters. Meanwhile, this youth will gain a new appreciation for white Middle America. Both may bond when they discover that each feels “the system” exploits them, though this exploitation takes radically different forms.

My second modest proposal attempts to broaden the anti-racism war by pushing it beyond the usual blog-based condemnations and into the population more generally. The solution: a new reality show modeled after the highly rated American Idol called Who Wants to Be America’s Foremost Conservative Anti-Racist?

There would be cash prizes and the winner receives a week-long, all-expenses-paid vacation in Detroit. Part of the prize money should be funneled to the already wealthy Southern Poverty Law Center or, better yet, to help launch Spanish Inquisition-like campaigns to sniff out employees who forward racist emails or snooze during mandatory sensitivity training.

The judges would be notable civil-rights activists such as the Rev. Al Sharpton, and to supply ideological balance, perhaps some anti-racist conservative writers or editors. Color obviously doesn’t matter, but it wouldn’t hurt if they, too, were black. Hundreds of would-be contestants would be auditioned and the survivors given 10 minutes to explain what they have personally done to detoxify America of white racism. Competition will be tough.

Once the top three anti-racists emerge, callers might ask contestants about black crime and black family life to see who has best come to grips with how white racism caused these situations. As with American Idol, the judges may offer some witheringly sarcastic criticisms of the losers. I can easily imagine the Rev. Al Sharpton saying, “Well, Mr. Jones, you claim to have hired a dozen unqualified youths for your business, but I’m offended by your assumption that illiteracy and a spotty work history make somebody ‘unqualified.’”

This way, millions of Americans can receive valuable lessons on white racism’s evils. And perhaps like Dancing with the Stars, celebrities might be enticed to participate. It will make perfect sense for captains of industry or celebs to participate and convince critics that they are absolutely 110% white-racism-free. If challenged about their predilections for white lawyers and doctors, all they need to do is produce the special Forgiveness Certificate that Rev. Sharpton gave them. Not even the pope could offer such a dispensation.

(Winston Smith is a pseudonym for a victim of the thought police who was recently put on the anti-black list.)