High Life

The Legend of the White Elephant

May 12, 2018

Enter The Donald. Forming an unholy alliance with MBS the Saudi strongman (did any of you notice the Lebanese muscles hanging from his sides) and Palestinian poster boy Benjamin Netanyahu, the 45th turned the balance of power in the Middle East with a flick of his middle finger. Enter Jared once again. And two weeks after the Donald-MBS summit in Riyadh, the blockade is sprung on Qatar. Suspicious folk raised their collective eyebrows because one month before, the Qatari finance minister had gone to the Big Bagel looking for investment opportunities. Kushner’s father, Charles, the one who had done hard time, and his sister Nicole, of China infamy, asked for funds to rescue 666. A huge renovation plan was pitched to the camel driver from Qatar, costing around $1 billion. The Qatari inspected the sight and gave a resounding no. Terribly suspicious people have been asking ever since whether a blockade would have been imposed if the Qataris had rescued the Kushners. And if Jared Kushner and the heavily Lebanese-muscled Mohammad Bin Salman had not spent three days and nights together eating their dates and planning to rule the world.

Personally I think the blockade will soon be lifted. The Saudi-Israel-U.S.A troika is out to sink Iran and doesn’t need the tiny shithole of Qatar to distract from the quest to do an Alexander the Great and finish off the Persians. Kushner is in financial trouble, but too many people are looking into the 666 white elephant to pull a fast one. And the Qataris have hired every single lobbyist in Washington—every one not already being paid by the Saudis and the Israelis, that is. It’s one hell of a world when great civilizations like the Saudi and Qatari ones clash over a building on Fifth Avenue. At least we Greeks went to war over a woman, not an ugly pile.

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