Hallelujah!

The Happy Hoteps

April 03, 2017

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The Happy Hoteps

Ladies and gents, it is my sublime pleasure as a man of intensely European ancestry to introduce you to the most thoroughly enjoyable American Negro Identity Group to come down the pike since the Black Israelites.

They call themselves Hotep Nation. The word “Hotep” is allegedly derived from an ancient Egyptian word meaning “peace.” A mostly non-religious and still embryonic racial identity movement that hatched around three years ago and whose “internal” membership numbers around 50, the Hoteps preach that most black Americans—whom they hilariously smear as “shines” and “nig-nogs”—have been brainwashed by white liberals into a perpetual state of self-pity and abject victimhood. They say that white liberals hypnotize American blacks into blindly embracing Cultural Marxist pet causes that are catastrophic for the black community and the black nuclear family in particular. For example, they say that feminism is a direct attack on black masculinity and fatherhood. They say that cramming TV screens and textbooks with images of mincingly gay blacks and trannies is another direct assault on the black male. They accuse the welfare state of keeping blacks strung out on government dependence and therefore undermining black economic self-sufficiency. And they say that black people who fixate on white “racism” as the source of all their problems are weak, effeminate crybabies who refuse to man up and take responsibility for their own destinies.

“These are the most likeable colored fellas I’ve seen in a coon’s age.”

They dismiss Black Lives Matter for ignoring black-on-black crime and for hypocritically hating white people while begging for support from a government that’s allegedly built on white supremacy:



Black Lives Matter wishes to appeal to the moral nature of a people that have shown no signs of having a moral compass.

They say the whole “racism” scare is an overblown distraction that prevents the black community from recognizing, addressing, and correcting its own problems.

Watching the YouTube channels of primary propagandists Hotep Jesus and Uncle Hotep, I didn’t detect one droplet of hatred for white people. In fact, I couldn’t detect even the mildest Hate Vibe at all. That’s because when it comes to “hate,” I’ve discovered over the years a fundamental principle that works with almost mathematical efficiency—those who lob it as an accusation tend to be far more hateful than any of the accused haters. These Hotep brothers don’t bother themselves with infantile, hyper-emotional concepts such as “hate” and “racism.”

Not only did I find myself nodding along in rabid agreement with everything I’ve heard these two “woke” black dudes say, these are the most likeable colored fellas I’ve seen in a coon’s age. Listening to them speak, it struck me how much more profoundly happy and how much funnier they are than all the brooding, angry, Black Lives Matter assholes and Ta-Nahesi Coates sourpusses.

It’s amazing how much more likeable black people are when you remove the leftism. Same goes for the whites. Same goes for anyone. Leftism can take anyone and make them unlikeable.

Most shockingly to leftists of all flavors is the substantial ideological overlap between Hotep Nation and the Alt-Right. In his essay “What is this Hotep and Alt-Right alliance?,” Jesus Hotep—AKA Ali Shakur AKA The Third-Eye Jedi—finds similarities between the two groups that would make any dyed-in-the-wool leftist squirm in their naturally scented hemp diapers. He writes:

…both sides represent the alpha traits of their respective races. Hoteps represent that for blacks and Alt-Right for whites….The media is controlled by “them” and “their” strategy is divide and conquer. As long as “they” can keep us fighting “they” can always present themselves as the solution and PROFIT. Hotep and Alt-Right are NOT fighting….Another thing Hoteps and Alt-Right have in common is being “red-pilled”. They see past the facade presented to us in the mainstream media….The Left is essentially controlled by media—and Soros of course.


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