Crime

The Curse of King Martin

May 08, 2012

Multiple Pages
The Curse of King Martin

Rich Lowry owes John Derbyshire an apology.

When Lowry fired Derbyshire from National Review for writing a “racist” column here at Taki’s, he took particular issue with Derb’s contention that whites should “Stay out of heavily black neighborhoods.”

Lowry was clearly unfamiliar with (black) comedian Chris Rock’s 1996 bit about avoiding any street in America named Martin Luther King Boulevard. As everyone (except National Review editors) knows, avenues christened in honor of that self-proclaimed champion of nonviolence usually run through black neighborhoods and tend to be among the country’s most dangerous.

The Curse of King Martin now seems to have extended beyond eponymous boulevards. In a development that’s sure to equal bad news for the Mall in DC, whites are on notice to steer clear of streets boasting monuments to MLK, too.

“Don’t leave your driveway without Derb behind the wheel and Chris Rock sitting shotgun.”

An 83-foot-tall obelisk honoring King stands over the corner of Brambleton Avenue and Church Street in Norfolk, Virginia, which is precisely where a white couple were driving last month when they were set upon by (depending on who’s doing the talking) “dozens” or “at least 100” black youths.

Sadly, such black-on-white swarms have become commonplace over the last few years, although you’d never know it unless you read the Drudge Report, which is one of the only “mainstream” news outlets that dares to report on the epidemic.

The white victims attacked in Norfolk worked four blocks away at a mainstream news outlet—the local Virginian-Pilot newspaper.

Which decided not to report this attack on its very own reporters.

(Maybe because, hey, they were short-staffed for a week—the pair having been forced to take time off work due to their injuries and all….)

It wasn’t until a Virginian-Pilot columnist wrote an opinion piece on the incident a fortnight later that residents learned about the couple’s terrifying ordeal. And boy, were they pissed: at the black teens and their online supporters (one of whom called the attack revenge for Trayvon Martin—an “excuse” that’s proving to be predictably popular with thugs of late); at their local self-appointed media gatekeepers; and at the police, whose indifferent mumblings about the crime sound like dialogue deleted from RoboCop as unrealistic. Mechanical police wouldn’t sound either this touchy or this indifferent:

An officer on the scene reportedly told one injured victim to “shut up and get in the car,” then shrugged that the attackers “were probably juveniles anyway. What are we going to do? Find their parents and tell them?” He then supposedly pointed to a nearby public housing complex and shrugged, “It’s what they do.”

Stung by charges of dereliction and incompetence, the Norfolk cops’ spokesman Chris Amos complained wearily that, when trying to establish the exact number of teen attackers, “we’re kind of at the mercy of our victims.” He didn’t ascribe any racial motives to the crime, which he characterized as “someone throwing a rock at someone’s car” and “simple assault”—because “there’s no code for mob assault” in the police department’s “system.”

Amos’s advice for motorists who find themselves in similar situations?

“Call the police,” of course.

Except the couple did call 911. It took them three tries to get through.

If only they’d had the chance to use Microsoft’s “ghetto app” instead.

It’s officially called “Pedestrian Route Production”—this still-in-development smart-phone application will be designed to help the user avoid “unsafe neighborhoods.”

Predictably, the Dallas NAACP and other black critics have denounced the as-yet-unavailable phone feature as “racist.”

But what about listening to Chris Rock’s Bring the Pain in the car? Is that “racist,” too?

The ever-helpful comic has another routine about “driving while black.” Once again, he provides simple, common-sense (and foul-mouthed) tips for avoiding a beatdown, this time at the hands of police: obey the law, turn down that loud rap music, and don’t run from the cops.

Rock also jokingly tells black drivers to “get a white friend” whose mere presence in the bitch seat could mean the difference “between a ticket and a bullet in the ass.”

In all likelihood, Microsoft will be bullied by racial shakedown artists into junking the “ghetto app” that—especially if programmed to alert users to any street (or statue) with Martin Luther King’s name on it—could’ve prevented the Norfolk attack and many others.

This leaves white drivers who’d rather risk death than accusations of racism with one utterly impractical, ultra-low-tech option when they need tips on which neighborhoods to avoid: Don’t leave your driveway without Derb behind the wheel and Chris Rock sitting shotgun.

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