Low Life

The Crying Rape Game

May 06, 2013

Multiple Pages
The Crying Rape Game

Meg Lanker-Simons, who I’ll presume hyphenates her surname to prove she’s not beholden to the patriarchy, is a bespectacled female wildebeest who grazes the campus of the University of Wyoming, always on the lookout for sexual harassment but never quite able to find it.

On Thursday she will appear in court to face misdemeanor charges that she interfered with a police investigation by fabricating an online male identity who claimed he wanted to “hatefuck” her and thus transform her into a “good Republican bitch.” After this initial—and, according to police, self-generated—post on April 24, Lanker-Simons responded by saying, “I’m left to wonder if there’s someone out there with a violent fantasy about me….”

I’ll bet she wonders that a lot. Or maybe “hopes” is a more apt choice of words.

Simons, a blogger that received kudos from Think Progress and is also chums with terrorist bomber Bill Ayers, appeared to bask like a whale shark in the odd sort of attention that only modern-day victims, real or imagined, seem to enjoy. That is, until a warrant for her arrest was issued.

Rather than upbraiding her for wasting public resources and staining the school’s reputation, the University of Wyoming issued a statement that Meg’s arrest should not be remembered as an example of third-wave feminism gone psycho, but it should be honored in that it “sparked an important discussion” about how the school has “no tolerance for sexual violence,” even if, well, a mentally unbalanced woman is simply imagining it.

I’ve seen bumper stickers that say feminism is the radical idea that women are people. But in practice, it seems more like the pseudo-religious delusion that women are innocent.

Twisted misogynist that I am, I actually do see women as human and thus fully capable of malice and deceit in order to achieve their ends.

“I’ve seen bumper stickers that say feminism is the radical idea that women are people. But in practice, it seems more like the pseudo-religious delusion that women are innocent.”

But don’t try telling a modern radical feminist that women sometimes lie, especially about the unpardonable sins of rape and sexual assault. She’ll call you a slut-shaming, patriarchy-supporting, dickless scumbag rape apologist who denies we live in a “rape culture” that constantly sends out loud messages that rape is cool and groovy and ginchy and happenin’. 

Feminist author Catharine MacKinnon and her wrinkly, desiccated vagina once wrote that “feminism is built on believing women’s accounts of sexual use and abuse by men.”

If so, feminism is built on a shaky house made of soft tampons.

Depending on whose stats you believe, false rape accusations comprise anywhere from 1% to 90% of all rape accusations.

It’s not as if women have ever been caught fabricating rape accusations as a form of revenge against their lovers. They’ve never concocted stories to get their ex-husbands nor their ex-boyfriends jailed. They’ve never cried rape to get rid of a current husband, either. It’s not as if adult women cheat on their partners and then try to cover it by crying rape. This never happens. Never. No, not even once. It’s not as if teenage girls do this, either. Mistresses never cry rape, either. It’s not as if a woman has ever lodged a false rape complaint merely because a man forgot her name after a one-night stand. And it’s certainly not as if false rape accusations motivated by a thirst for romantic vengeance have happened again and again and again and again and again and again and again.

Modern feminism also teaches that it is the supremely evil patriarchy whose hairy, talon-tipped hands have molded a society that makes women feel ashamed of their sexuality. Therefore, it is impossible that women sometimes genuinely feel ashamed for engaging in consensual sex and then deal with their guilt by falsely accusing men of raping them. It’s not as if they feel guilty for having consensual sex with strangers and then turn around to falsely accuse them of rape. It’s not as if they sometimes consent to sex with multiple partners simultaneously and then claim they were gang-raped. It’s not as if they feel guilty for one-night stands and subsequently cry rape, so get that thought out of your mind, no matter what you read in the papers.

Women never willingly seek out kinky S&M situations and then falsely accuse their partners of rape. Never.

They never get drunk, willingly have sex, feel bad in the morning, and decide it was rape. Not even with two men under the bushes in the park.

Women never use false rape accusations as a twisted tool of vengeance in family relations. Mothers never persuade their daughters to falsely accuse men of rape. And without coercion, daughters never falsely accuse their fathers of raping them, either. Nor do they ever falsely accuse their stepfathers.

Women never create self-inflicted injuries as part of a false rape claim. They never give themselves black eyes, tear their own underwear and scratch up their faces, tie themselves up, or slash themselves in the face in order to frame men for imaginary sex crimes.

They never stand by their lies until photographic or video evidence proves that they’re lying.

Women never make a series of false rape accusations against a series of men. They never do it eight times, and they certainly never do it 11 times.

And I can state with authority that women never lie about rape, because it has never happened to me.

In all my douchey conversations with all the douchey guys I’ve known, never once has another man told me he fantasizes about raping women. But I’ve probably had at least two dozen women confide to me that they often fantasize about being raped. Mostly they explain that they are aroused by the idea of a man that finds them so desirable, he simply can’t help himself. And despite what feminists tell you, this is apparently a very common fantasy. According to one study, four in ten women fantasize about being forcibly ravished about once a month.

Despite all that, it makes me little more than a gynophobic pig to insinuate that many women make false rape accusations because their fantasies go unfulfilled. As regards other cases, I’m only unveiling my sinister misogynist heart to suggest that many women make false rape accusations because they know they can wreck a guy’s life without ever having to prove anything.

I suggest that if it can be proved beyond a reasonable doubt that a woman deliberately made a false rape accusation against a man, she should be forced to serve the prison sentence he would have served if convicted.

This doesn’t apply to the case of Meg Lanker-Simons, because the man who wanted to violently “hatefuck” her existed only in her head. I’m only using her trampoline-sized body as a springboard to discuss an issue that too many people deny. Many others don’t deny it because they seem unaware it even exists.

I’ve known quite a few women who’ve confided tales to me of being raped or sexually harassed, either by family members or acquaintances. Depending on their demeanor and the details they share, I often believe them. And for decades if not centuries if not millennia, many women suffered such traumas without being believed. I think that’s wrong.

But the pendulum has swung so violently in the other direction that many modern psychopathic females take advantage of a widespread societal presumption of female innocence in the same way that many hate-crime-fabricating nonwhites prey upon the idea that only whites can be racists. As a result, many men—no matter how innocent—are stigmatized, ostracized, and shamed into suicidal silence the same way that women used to be. I think all of this is wrong, too.

A common slogan during the riot grrrl-crazed 1990s was that “Boys Lie.”

Yes, they do. That’s because they’re human.

But I believe that many girls lie, too. That’s also because they’re human.


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