Looking Back

The 16 Most Annoying People of 2016

December 26, 2016

9. LENA DUNHAM
By now we are all well familiar with the fact that she’s a titless boar who serially molested her sister and falsely accused a “Republican” of raping her in college. Right before the election she publicized an animated video where she and her father discuss how cool it would be if straight white men were to be eliminated.

She claims she was so emotionally wrecked by Hillary Clinton’s hilarious electoral defeat that she “could feel my chin breaking into hives,” so she did what any hyper-entitled shit-hog would do—she flew to Arizona to speak with rocks, posted a “vile toilet selfie” where she looks even uglier and more deranged than normal, and then recently stated that she wishes she’d had an abortion.

Not as much as we wish your mom did, Lena.

8. MICHELLE FIELDS

It was to be expected that the liberal media would oppose Trump with their trademarked infantile fury, but it is the “Never Trumpers” on the allegedly “right” side of the political spectrum who must be forever denied any further employment in media. Miss Fields was a reporter for Breitbart News Network when she claimed that Trump’s campaign manager Corey Lewandowski violently grabbed her arm and yanked her downward, nearly causing her to fall. She even showed bruises on her forearm from the alleged assault. However, video footage clearly shows that no such thing happened—and as luck would have it, Lewandowski hadn’t touched her anywhere near her forearm. Fields filed a police complaint which was ultimately laughed out of court.

7. BILL KRISTOL
This self-important smirking turd, the “First Baby of Neoconservativism,” led the futile and doomed “Never Trump” movement, whose futility was epitomized when Kristol offered up writer David French as an “impressive” third-party presidential candidate with a “real chance.” French not only never had a chance, he didn’t even run. Kristol and his Weekly Standard are now condemned to the dustbin of historical irrelevance along with all other “conservatives” who wish to see American soldiers die on Israel’s behalf.

6. KARSTEN HAUKEN
A self-described “socialist, feminist, and anti-racist” from Norway, Hauken claims he was viciously raped by a Somali migrant about five years ago. Upon learning that the black buck who tore his asshole open was being released from prison and sent back to Somalia, Hauken expressed his pangs of guilt:

I also got a strong sense of guilt and responsibility. I was the reason why he should not have to leave Norway, and heading for a very uncertain future in Somalia…I do not feel anger toward my rapist, for I see him most as a product of an unjust world….I am afraid that no girls want me, and that other men laugh at me.

Can’t speak for the girls, but yes—men are laughing at you.

5. SAMANTHA BEE
These days it is nearly impossible to have a career in mainstream comedy if you aren’t a liberal. In fact, you don’t have a shot if you don’t devote at least half of your material to mocking liberals’ chief bogeyman, the straight white male. Facially challenged alleged comedienne Samantha Bee is just one among many of the Colberts and Stewarts and Fallons and Kimmels and John Olivers and other late-night talk-show hosts who infuse their “comedy” with so much stale leftist snark, they’ve basically strangled American humor to death. Upon Trump’s election, she said, “It’s pretty clear who ruined America: white people.” This is despite the fact that a lower quotient of whites—and a higher quotient of nonwhites—voted for Trump than for Romney in 2012. I have an alternate theory for why Hillary Clinton lost: She was surrounded by shitty comedians.

4. JESSE BENN
This year marks two years in a row that Jewish nerd Jesse Benn has written an article encouraging violence toward whites. In 2015 it was “Towards a Concept of White Wounding.” This year it was “Sorry Liberals, A Violent Response To Trump Is As Logical As Any.” He is but one of many psychotic leftists who openly encourage violence against their ideological opponents but would be laughably ill-equipped to defend themselves against the backlash they’re helping to create.

3. HENRIETTE REKER
In 2015 Ms. Reker, the mayor of Cologne, Germany, was stabbed by a German nationalist over her support for refugees. But last New Year’s Eve, when mass mob attacks in Cologne of German women by men of “North African or Arabic” appearance justified the term “rapefugees,” Reker counseled German women using the most truly “rape culture” sentence I may have ever heard:

It is always possible to keep a certain distance that is longer than an arm’s length.

That’s right—it isn’t the rapists’ fault; it’s the fault of German women for not keeping their distance from the men who are raping them en masse.

2. SELIN GÖREN
Another emblem of the suicidal insanity of modern German leftist women, Ms. Gören, 24, was sexually assaulted last January in a playground by a trio of men who appeared to be speaking either Arabic or Farsi. But since she was paralyzed by the fear of appearing “racist,” she lied and told police that she was robbed rather than sexually assaulted—and by men speaking German rather than some Middle Eastern tongue.

1. ELIZABETH BROADBENT
White social-justice virtue-signaling has reached the point where parents are selling out their own flesh and blood in the service of their political delusions. Ms. Broadbent recently wrote an article called “Why I Feel Guilty About Being A White Mother,” giving her three sons a lifelong pass for feeling ashamed of their own mom. But Broadbent represents a mere tip of a troubling iceberg of white parents snitching on their own kids Soviet-style for thoughtcrimes. Other articles in this sick genre include “Raising White Children to be Anti-Racist Allies,” “It’s My Job to Raise Children Who Are Not Only Not Racist But Actively Anti-Racist,” “My teen boys are blind to rape culture,” and “My four-year-old son is sexist - so who’s to blame?

When I hear of such brainwashing nonsense, I recall the Frank Zappa line, “If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they’ll murder you in your sleep.” While I would never publicly encourage children to murder their parents, it is my fondest wish that when the spawn of these clueless and self-loathing white losers reach their political awakening, they should forever disown their parents for the abuse inflicted upon their developing psyches.

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