Shaidle Unchained

Take the Black Pill

November 15, 2016


So this is my fourth Hitler.

When I was a kid, I treasured my Book of Lists, and still remember big chunks of it. (But don”€™t know my own cell phone number a year after I got the damn thing…)

This paperback treasury of trivia included the results of a poll asking U.S. respondents to name “€œthe most horrible human in history”€ or some such. Still stung by Watergate, they placed Richard Nixon in the No. 1 spot.

Ever after, I”€™ve pondered what that choice revealed about the American psyche: a deep, wide streak of provincial petulance? An unflattering flippancy? Pauline Kael’s “€œI only know one person who voted for Nixon”€ turned inside out, upside down, then weaponized somehow?

I don”€™t doubt that similar surveys taken during the 1980s and 2000s saw Reagan and “€œW”€ in the top 10 at least. Now poor Donald Trump will join that elite fraternity.

Frankly, I”€™ve been looking forward to dusting off my If George Bush is Hitler, why aren”€™t you a lampshade? bitchslap for deployment on social media over the next four years. But otherwise, I”€™m not sure what else I am looking forward to now.

“€œAll those fantasy expats are going to stay put because, I fear, nothing much will change under Donald Trump.”€

Yes, I permitted myself to be thrilled last Tuesday night. Watching the needle on that New York Times dial grudgingly swing from “€œClinton”€ to “€œTrump”€ over the course of the evening until it couldn”€™t budge any further is a sensation I”€™ll treasure forever. And I”€™ve watched this video way too often. Gavin McInnes”€™ victory-party footage, too.

But.

I”€™ve said from the start:

When it comes to Trump, Adolf isn”€™t the Austrian we need to be scared of. It’s Arnold.

You know why most of those Americans who are threatening to move up here to Canada, celebrities or otherwise, won”€™t actually bother?

It’s not just our weather. Or that they”€™ll find out their bodyguards won”€™t be able to carry handguns. Or that we don”€™t have Target, and that everything we do have is more expensive and not as cool. Look, Prince lived in Toronto’s poshest neighborhood for a few years, but then decided he still preferred…Minneapolis.

No, all those fantasy expats are going to stay put because, I fear, nothing much will change under Donald Trump.

For example: He’s already said he’s keeping the two dumbest parts of Obamacare. Insurance that can”€™t refuse applicants with preexisting conditions is no longer “€œinsurance”€; and letting “€œchildren”€ stay on their parents”€™ plans until they”€™re pushing 30 is even stupider. There’s no better time to buy insurance than when you”€™re young and healthy, before you need it (see above). This provision is feeding the infantilization of young adults that we”€™re seeing on display in campuses and on the streets.

Yes, Trump’s tweet about those very protests was hilarious “€œheaping coals“€ jujitsu. But it was also too…noble. Who else wanted him to write, “€œEat it, faggots!”€?

Sadly, I”€™m pretty sure Trump is going to be like America’s other “€œHitlers”€:

The Nixon who brought in wage and price controls and the EPA. The Reagan who grew government and didn”€™t nuke Beirut. The Bush who didn”€™t smash the Social Security Ponzi scheme.

I also don”€™t think, despite a couple of aftershocks, that the media is “€œover”€ or has “€œlearned its lesson.”€ Neither have the Democrats”€”and why do we want them to, by the way? So they can beat us next time? Stop passing this guy’s video around, ferchrissakes.

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