Remember when people used to say, “Sue me!” if you complained about something they said or did? “Sue me!” was one of my favorite expressions and I used it in grade school a lot, though I don’t think I’ve uttered the words in 20 years. It’s worth saying twice because it is so deeply crass. No one with any sense of dignity would ever sue, but suing is all the rage nowadays.
Enter: two men who say they are victims of racial discrimination by producers of The Bachelor reality television show. Now a class-action lawsuit has been brought against ABC by the men who claim their case is about “hope and change” and that they want the show to reflect the country’s diversity. They should have pitched The Black Bachelor and made some money instead of wasting time with a ridiculous lawsuit. Did it ever occur to them that they might not have been discriminated against by the show’s producers and that outside of their fantasy lives, not all white girls have jungle fever? Furthermore, they might want to remember the old wives’ tale about marrying one’s own kind. I remember all the fools who think they know better than grandma. Dummkopfs!
No, it doesn’t end there. Four Muslims who were fired from IHOP are suing for racial discrimination as well. The Muslims claim they are still unemployed and have suffered greatly because of the damage to their reputations the job loss caused. They should be grateful they were fired. IHOP doesn’t even make good pancakes. If they’re worried about their reputations, maybe they shouldn’t advertise their religion and try to blend in with the locals. After all they are living in a Christian country and their religion calls for the murder of infidels. Just sayin’.
In more reality-TV news, Basketball Wives star Jennifer Williams is slapping Nia Crooks with a lawsuit for slapping her in the face. I’ve never heard of these women or watched the show but damn, those sure are some slaphappy wives! Better be careful, Jennifer—you’ve already lost your husband who is now happily slappin’ someone else’s ass. Do you really want to lose your job over this one? If you do, you might wind up slapping yourself.
Phil Spector, the murderer with the craziest hair in history, is suing the California city of Alhambra. Spector is in prison, but his wife lives in the house where he murdered actress Lana Clarkson in 2003. Apparently a city construction project is weakening a retaining wall and causing landslides on his property. Karma’s a bitch, Phil. You might want to suck this one up and pay for the damage yourself. Haven’t you cost the taxpayers enough already?
Rich people love to sue, and even so-called cool guys such as old mega-millionaire Howard Stern sometimes come down with a nasty case of the Sue Flu. Stern tried to sue Sirius Radio recently for failure to pay $330 million in stock awards. Fortunately a judge threw out the case. Howard just lost a few notches with me. Come on, buddy, you’re turning into a greedy son of a bitch. How much does one man need?
At least $50 million, according to Bradlee Dean, who is suing Rachel Maddow for defamation. A radio preacher and heavy-metal rocker, Dean says Maddow champions “leftist, socialist, activist ‘gay rights,’ pro-choice, pro government and anti-religious” ideas. Dean says his words were taken out of context and he was made to sound as if he was calling for the extermination of homosexuals. Maddow and NBC Universal are furious and have filed an anti-SLAPP motion against Dean. Clearly some in the media love to edit sound bites, often deceptively, to make them seem more incendiary. Maddow should be ashamed of himself herself. Dean should, too. Why dignify the PC Police’s bullying tactics with any response at all?
When in doubt, apologize and delete, as Lesley Arfin had to do. Not! A writer on the new HBO show Girls, Arfin was being ironic when she complained there was no one like her in the movie Precious after someone noted that Girls had no major characters “of color” in the first episode. She had also once told a joke about “taking Obama to the White House,” a reference to taking a crap. Arfin took some heat from Gawker, those high and mighty—and nearly all-white!—keyboard warriors of anti-racism for her “racist” sense of humor. My God, please help! What is this world coming to? The problem isn’t that we live among so many racists but that almost anything funny that points out differences between people—and they can’t really be “diverse” without being different, can they?—is considered “racism.”
Let’s forget about “racism” and focus on this freak show. Yeah, the “man” who had a baby is separating from the mother of his kids. These people are freaks, and if you don’t like what I have to say about it, sue me! Life is clearly confusing enough; why add children into the mix? My heart goes out to these little tykes. No innocent person should have to explain such a horror.
RIP Levon Helm and Dick Clark. Hopefully you’ve found greater peace than many of us find in this wild world.
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