Afternoon Delight

Octomom, Please Octodie

November 01, 2012

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Octomom, Please Octodie

Nadya Suleman, you are everything that is wrong with the world at the moment.

The question isn’t what’s wrong with you—that’s obvious. Everything is wrong with you. The real question: Is there anything right with you?

You are a repellent, repugnant, loathsome, attention-seeking piece of rotted flesh wrapped around a black hole that sucks the goodness out of everything in its vicinity.

“Nadya Suleman, you are everything that is wrong with the world at the moment.”

Whether it was flaunting your C-section scars for the camera at a celebrity boxing match…sticking your bloated, cosmetically mangled bottom-feeding catfish face in front of every paparazzo willing to snap a picture of it…going on talk shows to seek counseling for your “compulsive hoarding disorder”…declaring bankruptcy after running up a million-dollar debt…then going on welfare…then bragging that you were off welfare because you were finally self-sufficient as a result of doing porn…has revealed you to be a lower life form than even the humble, often good-natured amoeba.

Now—to the same sort of garish public fanfare that accompanies all of your disgusting behavior, you have entered rehab for alleged addiction to Xanax, a pill designed especially to numb the rudimentary brains of weak-willed people who can’t handle life.

Yes, leave your 14 children…all fourteen of them..did we mention there are fourteen of them?...behind while you go and deal with your precious anxiety.


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