Mourning Liz, Chris Brown’s Tirade & Wills’ Stag Party

March 25, 2011

Paul Johnson Calderon
From High Society to the bowels of college life, it’s been an interesting year for Paul Johnson Calderon. The sticky-fingered troublemaker was arrested this week for breaking into a fraternity at Massachusetts’ Amherst College. Imagine if Tinsley Mortimer’s show had a second season: arrests, keggers, Montauk summers, the possibilities are endless.

All is not well in Katie Couric’s world. The clock is ticking on the CBS anchor’s contract, and it looks doubtful the Tiffany Network wants to re-up her deal, which at $15 million a year would even make Charlie Sheen jealous. It’s likely she’ll switch to daytime, the wasteland of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? reruns and that show by Oprah’s decorator pet Nate Berkus.

Michael and Carole MiddletonTime to bookmark your royal rags: Prince William’s bachelor/stag party is finally taking place this weekend, and the public wants to gobble up every last detail of the top-secret affair. A royal aide promises “legendary activities” while Kate remains at home planning the wedding details. Meanwhile, her parents, Michael and Carole Middleton, are using their new status to trade up their living arrangements. They toured a pricey manor that once belonged to Camilla Parker Bowles while she had an affair with Prince Charles. Cheeky! If those walls could talk…actually no, let’s not imagine that.

Finally, a C-list feud we couldn’t ignore: George Lopez took a nasty swipe at Kirstie Alley’s appearance on Dancing with the Stars, saying she “did a nice job, her little hooves tapping away.” All’s fair in love and reality TV: Alley retorted “Just remember what happens to the big bad, drunk woolf [sic]...falls in a boiling pot of vodka. Piggy laughs.” Lopez apologized again. Alley hit back once more, referencing the comic’s transplant surgery in 2005: “I want your kidney dude.” Tune into Katie Couric’s timeslot for Surgeries of the Stars, premiering this summer.

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