Oy Vey!

Let’s Hope the Next Bomber is a Liberal Journalist

April 22, 2013

Multiple Pages
Let’s Hope the Next Bomber is a Liberal Journalist

Observing the noxious media aftermath following last week’s Boston Marathon bombings, it has become abundantly clear that we, as a nation, need to start racially profiling liberal writers.

I first heard about the bombings from a little old white lady at a gas station down the street last Monday afternoon, and she said that “terrorists” were the likely culprits.

As someone who’s increasingly bewitched and bewildered by the political use of semantics, I have severe misgivings about the word “terrorism.” The US has been carpet-bombing massive swaths of the Middle East in varying degrees of intensity ever since the first Gulf War, which undoubtedly induces terror among the locals there, yet magically that’s somehow not “terrorism.” To me, “terrorism” is to “authorized military bombing” what a “cult” is to a “religion”—the main difference seems to be that neither the cults nor the terrorists have gone pro yet.

Even the most conscientiously objective among us have our biases, formed mostly by life experiences and where we find ourselves in the social pecking order. I find myself more suspicious of the major media and the US government than I do of either Muslims or rural redneck rubes, and when I got home from the gas station to read online that the bombings had occurred at the Boston Marathon, my first thought was of the 2010 British film Four Lions, where a quartet of bumbling jihadists blow themselves up at the London Marathon. But I didn’t suspect Muslims as much as I suspected some pill-popping, attention-seeking, media-addled copycat.

“We, as a nation, need to start racially profiling liberal writers.”

And since the feds bleed what I presume are tens of billions from taxpayers such as myself to fund the CIA yet won’t divulge exactly how much they’re bleeding from us nor how they’re spending that money, you can’t shame me into silence by calling me a “paranoid conspiracy theorist” that I also wondered whether the bombings may have been a false-flag operation.

So although I had my suspicions, I reserved judgment, because that’s what a journalist is supposed to do, or at least that’s what they taught me in journalism school before modern academia became entirely submerged in the ever-rising floodwaters of Cultural Marxism.

This wasn’t the case with many other alleged journalists. Those on the “right” tended to suspect Muslims, and those on the “left” were fairly wetting themselves with gleeful anticipation that it was one of those gun-toting, tax-resisting, rural Angry White Males that has served as their cultural “other” and chief movie villain for generations now.

Since I’m a white male and not a Muslim, I don’t quite cotton to such rank defamation and stereotyping.

Michael Moore stopped gnawing on his Flintstones-sized rack of barbecued ribs long enough to note that being white would help you escape scrutiny as a bombing suspect. Moore would know something about being white, seeing as he owns a sprawling mansion in an area that is estimated to be 98% white and has no black residents.

Racial witch-hunter Tim Wise, who looks like the bastard love child of an albino beaver and Dr. Evil, allegedly lives in an area that is 97% white and 0% black; if that’s true, then he, too, ought to know a little about the “white privilege” against which he’s constantly railing.

Wise kinda-sorta claims to be white in an apparent quest to score self-flagellation points, but not really, since he says his Jewish ancestors were only able to achieve success by slyly passing as white. So if I’m understanding him correctly, even though he insists he’s white and that white guilt is a real thing, don’t try and pin any of the bad stuff about whiteness on him, because he’s not really white. This, apparently, is how he’s able to feel justified in plotting the “destruction” of the “conservative old white people [who] have pretty much always been the bad guys” while he refers to Jews as “my people.”

Fuck me with a dreidel if that “destruction” line doesn’t sound somewhat genocidal, Uncle Tim. But what the hell do I know—I’m rendered deaf, dumb, and blind by “white privilege,” right?

Although the Boston bombings had nothing to do with whiteness, Wise immediately squirted his shopworn “white privilege” meme all over the blood and guts in Boston.

Picking up the bash-whitey baton from Tim Wise was David Sirota at salon.com, who last Tuesday signed his name to an article titled “Let’s hope the Boston Marathon bomber is a white American.” No, I’m not kidding. That was the title. After facing a ferocious backlash, Sirota doubled down and pissed out another screed called “I still hope the bomber is a white American” a day later.

In his first piece, the scrawny and apopleptic Sirota, who Wikipedia says “describes himself as ‘a Jew’” and once worked for AIPAC, argued that unlike Muslims, white males are not perceived as an “existential threat,” despite the fact that white males have endured a couple of generations of ceaseless stereotyping and outright collective blood libel at the hands of American media and academia.

I’m not sure why Jewish writers tend to treat Muslims far more gingerly than they do non-Jewish white males. Do they honestly think Muslims are fonder of Jews than white males are? Or is it that, unlike non-Jewish white males, Muslims tend to bite back? Whether it’s primal fear, a misguided sense of compassion, or some cockeyed combination of the two, it appears that “Muslim privilege” rather than “white privilege” is what’s at work in the leftist double standard.

On Thursday the FBI revealed the bombing suspects to be Chechen Muslims, who are technically Caucasian but not “white males” in the commonly understood pejorative sense.

I’m no fan of Muslims and I also understand there has been a civilizational clash between the Islamic world and what’s known as “Christendom” ever since Muhammad started slaying everything in his path and bedding preteens. But it seems as if modern jihadist bombings only started in earnest after Zionists started bombing what was once known as Palestine in their quest to establish Israel. So why is it that when we think of terrorist bombers, it’s either McVeigh or bin Laden and never the Stern Gang? And why do leftist bombers wind up with tenure at prestigious universities?

Could it be that the leftist media downplays, or even ignores, such acts of terrorism because that part of the media is egregiously stacked with a wildly disproportionate quotient of a specific minority Who Must Never Be Named Under Threat of Eternal Damnation? Perish the thought! (My Jew-sniffing dog sometimes makes mistakes, and it’s not as if Americans of that ancestry always advertise their heritage, but to the best of my research skills I counted anywhere from 13 to 19 “chosen” peeps from the 25 on that list, which would comprise 52%-79% of the total and thus a whopping statistical overrepresentation of anywhere from 2600% to 3950%. And there’s not one black person on that list. Holy mackerel, Andy!)

Is it a mortal sin to question why those who never zip their lips about trash-compacting “diversity” into every nook and cranny of American life tend to come from a tiny and stubbornly non-diverse demographic?

Maybe if you’d been able to restrain yourselves from endlessly screaming about the unique evil of white people, I wouldn’t have started to look into exactly who was doing most of the screaming. Since you apparently can’t help yourself from continually profiling me, don’t cry foul when I start profiling you. And I don’t think it qualifies as imagining there are Jews in my sandwich when anywhere from half to three-quarters of the hoagie you’re feeding me is stuffed with kosher meat.

Palefaced XY-chromosome devils have been persistently framed in popular discourse as eternal oppressors and congenital spewers of venom, bile, and hatred. But despite everything the media has been peddling for generations, it appears that this oft-maligned demographic suffers from a fatal flaw, one that runs contrary to the stereotype—they’re way too nice. They’re not homicidally intolerant so much as they’re suicidally tolerant. And unless their antagonists—whether they’re self-loathing crackers such as Michael Moore or anyone else in the increasingly hostile and jeering Rainbow Coalition—learn to cool it with the screaming, it appears that the only option is to start screaming back. Otherwise it seems evident that the tireless bashers of everything white and male don’t view white males as a powerful oppressor so much as an easy target.

 

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