Media

Just Another Mouth in the Republican Fellatio Machine

June 07, 2012

Multiple Pages
Just Another Mouth in the Republican Fellatio Machine

The symbolic thrust of Hustler’s crude, much-protested, Photoshopped depiction of Rockefeller Republican S. E. Cupp is commendable: Silence this siren of stupidity.

The Hustler make-believe image of Cupp was captioned incorrectly, describing the “conservative” commentator as “someone who had read too much Ayn Rand in high school and ended up joining the dark side.”

Sacrilege. If S. E. Cupp has read Rand’s work, she has internalized none of it.

The problem with the product (or production) called Cupp is not that it is conservative and is being victimized for heralding conservative truths. This was the tired tack adopted by almost all the rightists who’ve rushed to Cupp’s rescue.

On the contrary. Cupp is no conservative. Like a lot of loud idiots, Cupp lacks a coherent ideology.

Dumb distaff abounds on America’s news channels. Cupp is a leader of the pack, a luminary in the Age of the Idiot, rivaled only by Grand Old Party leading lights such as Margaret Hoover and Gretchen Carlson (Bill O’Reilly’s circus clowns, AKA the “Culture Warriors”), Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Carrie Prejean, Noelle Nikpour, and Dana Perino (the Heidi Klum of the commentariat).

“Cupp is no conservative. Like a lot of loud idiots, Cupp lacks a coherent ideology.”

Like these low-watt women, Lolita’s forte is to gesture wildly and grimace while parroting talking points disgorged by every other Bush bootlicker before her.

In one MSNBC clip typical of a Cupp appearance, S. E. showcases her feel for American liberties by making a weak case for a man’s right to hire a lawyer in the USA—a pathologically litigious country which jails more individuals than any other. During that debut on Now With Alex Wagner, Cupp desperately latched onto a catchy phrase (“precipice politics”) the host had floated, repeating it again and again to help conceal her discursive meandering. By contrast, Naomi Wolf was oracular.

On Dylan Ratigan’s confused MSNBC slot, Cupp embarrassed herself even more than usual. Her considered opinion was that when you give corporations bailout money and they then blow the cash abroad, this is an example of the free market at work. Live with it, Cupp counseled.

Another memorable appearance, this time on David Asman’s America’s Nightly Scorecard, saw bobbing-head Cupp teaming up with Jedediah Bila—who is also misrepresented as a conservative—to call Julian Assange of WikiLeaks fame a rapist. Cupp seconded the opinion with vigorous nods of the noggin.

Assange was “condomed” in Swedish law for having consensual sex sans condom. Swedish sexual-harassment law is more diabolical than anything that radical American feminist jurist Catharine MacKinnon could dream up in her sweetest dreams—MacKinnon’s baleful influence on American and Canadian jurisprudence cannot be underestimated. Bila and Cupp, two “conservatives,” were on Sweden’s (and MacKinnon’s) side.

Lolita’s problem is that her mouth spouts mind-numbing banalities and fatuities. And the mouth shows no signs of letting up.

Granted, Cupp is nowhere near as off-putting as the licentious, self-adoring, and dense Meghan McCain, but she’s up there with Krystal Ball, a Democratic TV twin whose voice sounds as though it has been squeezed from the other end of her anatomy (to borrow a Greg Gutfeld analogy I’ve refined).

Ball is famous for a failed run for Congress and for Internet photos in which she’s seen fellating “a reindeer dildo nose,” as New York Magazine described it. These credentials have no doubt helped Ball procure plum positions on the idiot’s lantern.

Still, Ball is not as studiously dumb and brazen as Cupp. Likewise, Democrat Kirsten Powers might be dreadfully dull, without an idea of her own, but she’s ladylike. I’ll also take British import Imogen Lloyd Webber (Andrew Lloyd Webber’s daughter) over Cupp anytime. Once a member of the Fox News moron menagerie, Lloyd Webber’s most original line, blurted out with great conviction on The Factor, was: “We must build bridges with Islam.” She now reserves her syrupy idealism for MSNBC. Unlike the American competition, Imogen possesses a modicum of self-knowledge. “I’m not particularly bright and I put myself under a lot of pressure to do well,” she once disarmingly confessed.

Nevertheless, “Big Media,” left and right, came together unequivocally to defend the dishonored S. E. Cupp (who has been honored for her vomitous prose on C-SPAN’s Book TV and was called on to speak at CPUKE 2012).

Taki’s Kathy Shaidle surmised that this was because Cupp is “Big Media. And Big Media cares first and foremost about itself and its own.”

I disagree.

The very same colluding quislings more often than not stick it to Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin, who are the quintessential conservative Big Media babes.

Here’s the real reason behind the establishment’s affection for this member of the Republican fellatio machine: Major media feeds on mediocrity. Coulter and Malkin are not mediocre; they have talent.

Cupp is part of an implicit program of fem affirmative action.

For the political establishment, intellectual equilibrium is optimally maintained when the Cupps outnumber the Coulters.

Sidekick Cupp is on TV, weighing in on weighty matters, because however hard she and her ilk try, they cannot outsmart their hosts (O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Dylan Ratigan, and Martin Bashir).

Major media is like a big amorphous amoeba. This simple, single-celled organism will instinctively act in unison to preserve its integrity.

 

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