So closes another Olympiad as the aroma of success, failure, and whining hangs heavy in the air. These were the most “Racist!” games of all.
The most celebrated example of “Racism!” was the Greek jumper who was expelled after committing some off-color humor. Newsreaders reported a “huge backlash,” although one can find no evidence of it aside from the fact it was reported to have occurred. Mostly, the world said, “I could come up with a better joke.”
Soccer’s Michel Morganella was branded another virulent “Racist!” His comment was something along the lines of, “I want to beat up all those Koreans, that bunch of retards!” But if it’s offensive to Koreans to be called mentally handicapped, isn’t it offensive to the mentally handicapped to be considered worthy of stomping? Funny how this works.
There was then the sixteen-year-old Chinese swimmer who beat the field, her own record, and the fastest men’s time as well. When a few eyebrows were raised, the Chinese, being the scholars of Western nature that they are, cried “Racism!” And why not? The Chinese would never cheat at the Olympics unless it was in volleyball, gymnastics, or badminton, but never swimming. Only a filthy “Racist!” would say so.
In true Maoist fashion a German rower was excised from the Games because she had the audacity to consort with a person who once held purportedly “Racist!” views. You need no longer even think for yourself to be a “Racist!”; you merely need to have been exposed to such thoughts to be infected as with a virus and promptly quarantined from civil society.
Rounding out the Games was the wave that wasn’t, a Lithuanian program-pogrom, and an infamously unfortunate advertisement. There are so many bigots out and about these days it often smacks of the crackpots calling the Olympic kettles “Racist!”
All this is shockingly ludicrous when one considers the Opening Ceremony was itself a literal exercise in “Racism!” Historical English achievements were extolled by Africans, Indians, and Asians all dressed as traditional Englishmen. We had Oriental cockneys, dusky industrialists, and coal-black coal miners. The only person who hadn’t been recast as a minority was the Queen. Well, her time is coming and from her visage she just now may be realizing it.
The Olympics has a long history of racial incidents. One was in Germany in 1936, except it wasn’t. Thousands of neophyte historians repeat the story of Hitler snubbing Jesse Owens, which never happened. Don’t believe me? Hear it from Owens himself, who also said it never occurred. Owens said Hitler even waved at him when he won. True, der Führer had certain views on minorities, but at least in 1936 he treated them courteously. Sorry to shatter any shibboleths.
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