Joe Bob's America

“I’m Not Crazy, You Are”

September 27, 2016

This is where we end up—two liars arguing over who’s the bigger liar and who’s more crazy. Trump probably wins that argument, simply because all his sins were under the rubric of surviving in a brutal business world, whereas all Hillary’s were committed while serving as an office holder. The most telling thing Trump said was, “If you care about this stuff so much, where have you been the past 30 years?”

The United States shouldn’t have a binary political system. Gary Johnson, the Libertarian candidate, wasn’t invited to the debate, and Jill Stein, the Green Party candidate, was actually booted off the campus by Hofstra security after she showed up for an interview with MSNBC. Ralph Nader fought against this system for years, filing lawsuit after lawsuit, to no avail. What are the major parties afraid of? We’re the third largest country and by far the most diverse country. We shouldn’t have two parties, we should have twenty parties. Bernie Sanders should have a party. David Duke should have a party. Gridlock would be impossible, because getting 51 percent control would require compromise.

As it is, we have two mediocre candidates standing on an antiseptic stage at a second-rate college talking about birtherism and tax returns and—one of the Donald’s finer moments—the 33,000 emails that were deleted by Hillary Clinton’s staff. I thought Trump faded near the end when he let Hillary go on and on about how committed she was to cybersecurity and the evil Russians when—hello!—she breached the national security hundreds of times. He seemed to lose focus and dwell on the meaningless trick questions instead of pushing forward with his main message, which I would sum up as, I’m not a politician, I don’t care what politicians like this woman do, I don’t understand everything, but my instincts are right and I’m willing to blow up Washington.

If he sticks to that in the upcoming debates, I think the already narrow race will get narrower.

When his team reviews the tapes, though, I’m sure they’ll tell him, “Remember that the camera is on you even when you’re not talking. Stop with the side eye. Stop with the furrowed brow. Stop with the mugging and the pained expressions.”

He shouldn’t listen to them. His face was more honest than her face. Lee Strasberg would say he was “truthful under imaginary circumstances.” I doubt if Donald took any classes at Carnegie Hall. He may just be a natural.

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