The Untold Story

How Your BS Conspiracy Theories Help the State

June 13, 2017

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How Your BS Conspiracy Theories Help the State

The recent terror attacks in Manchester and London have energized conspiracy mavens. Even a prominent CNN analyst suggested that the Manchester attack could be a “false flag” (to be fair, he was accusing evil white right-wingers of framing poor lovable Muslims, but hey—for conspiracy buffs, it’s still a win). Following the London Bridge attacks, False Flaggot extraordinaire Kevin Barrett triumphantly announced that CNN had declared the event a “psy-op.” Sure, the CNN reporter clearly said “SIOC,” the FBI’s Strategic Information and Operations Center, but why let reality ruin perfectly good paranoid schizophrenia?

“If CNN continues to label each emerging terror drama a ‘false flag’ or ‘psy-op’ in their breaking news coverage, I may have to either apply for a job there, or look for another line of work,” Barrett triumphantly wrote, before speculating about why mainstream outfits like CNN were jumping on the conspiracy-theory bandwagon.

Which made me think. Conspiracy aficionados come in all shapes and sizes. Far-left, far-right, libertarian, anarchist, etc. But they usually have one thing in common—they mistrust and dislike “the state.” They may argue over the identity of the shadowy puppeteers who control false-flag events, but they know one thing—the state is not to be trusted.

Which is why I think it’s high time someone pointed out how very useful the conspiracy-theory mindset is to—guess who?—the state.

“Why let reality ruin perfectly good paranoid schizophrenia?”

Most conspiracy guys live in constant fear of masked men in black helicopters “coming for them” in the middle of the night to silence them for knowing “the truth.” Now, of course the state “takes” innocent people all the time. But when it happens, it’s not because nefarious cabalists decide to silence an online truth-teller. Rather, it’s because some poor schmuck has been railroaded in a criminal trial by a corrupt or incompetent prosecutor. Since 1989, there have been over 2,040 (known) wrongly convicted, exonerated prisoners in the U.S., accounting for an astonishing 17,772 cumulative years lost due to prosecutorial misconduct, ineptness, or overzealousness. You have no reason to fear “them” because you recorded a YouTube video about how the Jews killed Adam West. You do need to fear the state if, God forbid, your name comes up during a criminal investigation being overseen by an overly ambitious DA.

And here’s the thing—in practically every case in which an innocent American was wrongly convicted, a jury made the call. In other words, it’s not all about the inept or corrupt prosecutor. A jury has to buy a false narrative in order for an innocent person to lose his freedom. So how does a prosecutor get twelve average saps to convict when there’s no actual evidence? Easy…just employ the same bullshit arguments conspiracy theorists use.

Here are three examples to illustrate my point.

(1) “There are no coincidences.”

This is a favorite talking point of conspiracy theorists. A 1997 episode of The Simpsons featuring a graphic that “foresees” 9/11? Predictive programming, not a simple coincidence! A mass-shooting drill was held in the same city in which a mass shooting later occurred? A rehearsal, not a coincidence! The London subway attacks occurred on the 7th day of the 7th month of 2005 (2 + 5 = 7), killing 52 innocents (5 + 2 = 7)? 7777? Illuminati code, not a coincidence! One cannot find a major conspiracy theorist who has not spread the “there are no coincidences” message.

But the “no coincidences” line has also contributed to some of the worst miscarriages of justice this nation’s ever seen. Case in point: Michael Morton was the very definition of “average white guy.” Wife, kid, unexciting job as a supermarket manager. In August 1986, Morton and his wife went to dinner to celebrate his birthday. Upon returning home, Morton requested, as an additional present, “birthday sex” (I’ve heard from some of my married friends that this is a thing a lot of guys look forward to). When his wife declined, he went to bed angry. The next morning, before leaving for work, Morton left his wife a note expressing his displeasure at her displeasure at his desire for pleasure. The next time anyone saw the wife, she was lying in bed with her skull crushed, dead. The prosecutors had zero physical evidence linking Morton to the murder. They built their entire case on “there are no coincidences.” Morton claimed that a stranger must have broken in and committed the crime. “Oh, really? And what are the odds that on the EXACT morning you were furious with your wife, some random stranger JUST SO HAPPENED to break into your house and murder her? Please, Mr. Morton, coincidences like that don’t happen.”

The jury bought it—a case with nothing going for it but “there are no coincidences”—and Michael Morton lost 25 fucking years of his life before the truth came out that indeed, a random stranger had broken in, and the prosecutor (who was subsequently jailed for his misconduct) had hidden a mountain of exculpatory evidence from the defense. But the prosecutor’s deceitfulness isn’t the point here. The point is, twelve ordinary Americans destroyed a man’s life because they believed that “there are no coincidences” is an unassailable truth.

Want another example? Kevin and Dianna Green had a lousy marriage. The California couple bickered endlessly, and one night in 1979, after a particularly intense fight, Kevin stormed out to get some fast food at 1:30 a.m., forgetting to lock the front door behind him. Dianna would soon be found with her head bashed in. She’d been raped and beaten, and her unborn baby was dead inside her. Guess who got arrested? Green, who is white, told detectives that as he was leaving the apartment, he saw a suspicious-looking black man lurking nearby. “Yeah, right, dude. What are the chances that on the exact night you had a terrible fight with your wife, when you ‘conveniently’ forgot to lock your door, a random black murderer just so happened to be ambling by at 1:30 a.m. looking for victims? Coincidences like that don’t happen.” And the jury agreed. Even Green’s wife, who suffered too much brain damage to testify in detail, believed he did it. But he didn’t. The “random black man” was actually the “Bedroom Basher” serial killer, and yes, he just so happened to be arbitrarily wandering by just in time to hear the fight, see Green leave, and find the door unlocked…a complete coincidence that cost Kevin Green seventeen years of his life.

The fact is, coincidences happen all the time. But the “no coincidences” lie is the state’s favorite tool for railroading innocent people.


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