Joe Bob's America

Have Your Cake But Don’t Eat It

December 21, 2017

And the lawyer said that the KKK is not a protected class so they could be refused.

What if you just don’t feel inspired to create the cake someone wants?

Are you allowed to say, “I don’t care about your kid’s Little League team, and I hate their logo, and in fact I hate monstrous little baseball-playing urchins in general, so no, go away”?

Apparently, yes, you can say that and do that, but you can’t refuse to do a gay wedding cake.

David Mullins says he was “mortified and embarrassed and hurt” by the experience at Masterpiece Cakeshop, but he should reflect on a story often told by my late friend Andy Sidaris, the legendary ABC Sports director.

In 1953 Andy was a young producer at WFAA, the NBC affiliate in Dallas, when the worst tornado in Texas history hit Waco. Andy put together a crew and sped three hours down Highway 77 and got there just minutes after downtown Waco had been reduced to rubble. He noticed a small hotel that had its roof ripped off and some of the walls still standing, but exposed to the elements was a ballroom full of abandoned gifts and, in the center of the room, a giant cake that had somehow survived the storm in one piece. It was a playful cake, with a few mild pornographic images on it, and Andy gathered from the invitations and guest cards that the gathering had been a gay wedding between a businessman who lived in Dallas and another businessman who lived in Houston. They had apparently chosen Waco for the celebration so that everyone who was in the closet—virtually the entire guest list—could show up without having to tell friends and family members where they were going.

Of course there was no such thing as a legal gay wedding in 1953, but my point is this:

If you can find somebody willing to build a gay porn wedding cake in the state of Texas in the year 1953, you can find somebody to build any kind of gay wedding cake at any moment in all of recorded history.

Charlie, tell David it’s just a cake.

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