Bitch, Please!

Go Away Perez Hilton, and Take Your Purse With You

September 19, 2010

Proclamations like those made by Rich Ferrero make people think homosexuals are a bunch of nagging babies who love to play victim. People like Perez Hilton make gays look really pathetic. Such childish nonsense doesn’t help homosexuals who want empathy and equal rights with the heterosexual community. Homosexuals who seek the same rights as heterosexuals are making a good start. If marriage is what the gay community wants, it should be allowed to have it. No person, government, or judge should tell them otherwise. I see it as absolutely no threat to the heterosexual understanding of marriage, or to anyone or anything else for that matter. Any heavy-handed objection is just nonsensical. But then, I guess some Christians need to be reminded once in a while of what it actually means to practice what they preach.

Queers like Hilton might want to think about truly practicing what they preach as well. I thought you guys were gay because you are attracted to men. So now I’m confused, why do some of you act and accessorize like school girls? I think it’s time, for those of you who haven’t already figured it out, to be like everybody else. For example, still today I get treated badly by all kinds of people. I’ve learned to stand up for myself. Because I am a grown-up. Unlike Perez, I don’t call MADRE or NOW every time some jerk treats me like I don’t count. No, I either let it go, or if I can’t help myself, I march right up to the fool, summon up my brain, and get them to admit the wrongdoing. Then I go buy a new Asprey handbag.

Speaking of handbags. What’s with all the fruits with a purse? I can’t get away from them. They’ve gone viral. Everywhere I turn I see young men sashaying about with Birkin’s, Balenciaga’s, and Bottega’s. They’re starting to really bother me. But I guess more than anything, they just make me laugh. It just looks so damn silly. Equally ridiculous are women who prance around with over-priced designer handbags the size of suitcases. Obviously sometimes men need bags. But for heaven’s sake, get a man bag instead of a girl bag. When I asked my gay friends what they think of boys with purses they unanimously said it was a simple case of bad taste. Bad taste must be in fashion these days.

Perhaps walking around with a good old satchel or a backpack will help homosexuals remember who they are and what it means to be a man, gay or straight. When gay people act like “sissies”, what they’r really doing is acting like children. I have little patience for grown-ups who act like children. Whatever happened to personal responsibility? After the age of 18 one is at the helm of one’s own life. This means we handle our own Tweets, Perez, as well as our own damage, and our own well-being. Nobody else does. Certainly not GLAAD.


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