Equality

Fat, Broke and Single?

May 18, 2012

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Fat, Broke and Single?

Like the French language, the liberal brain works in reverse. Where we say “the red book,” the French say “le livre rouge.” They start with a blank book and work backwards to fill it in with rouge. Liberals start with, “All men are created equal” and walk backwards from there without looking. If everyone isn’t succeeding equally, it can’t be because they made some bad decisions or have unequal abilities. It’s because we didn’t do enough.

If America is fat, it must be because nobody told them food is fattening. If women earn less than men, it must be because of sexism. If gays aren’t getting married, it must be because homophobes are cockblocking them. If the top ten mathematicians of all time are white males, it must be because nonwhite mathematicians with vaginas suffered discrimination.

These babies want to make us all as equal as the day we were born, even if it kills us.

“Like the French language, the liberal brain works in reverse.”

But despite their love of helping the average Joe, they’ve never met him. They don’t preach what they practice so they don’t know what goes on in the real world. The rest of us see women abandon math in college not because they’re discouraged or there’s a dearth of role models but because they tend to suck at it. IQ tests regularly show that although men are stupider than women, they’re smarter, too. A man’s bell curve is much wider than a woman’s, so although it dives far deeper into idiot, it also soars farther into brilliant. We have more dummies than them, but we have more geniuses, too.

Despite having so many geniuses, we still let gay marriage determine national elections even though the few gays that actually give a shit represent a tiny fraction of one percent of the population. And half of them get divorced! In northern Europe where this experiment has been going on for a long time, gays are finally asking themselves, “Wait, why are we doing this? We don’t have kids.” No one likes being told they can’t do something, but that doesn’t mean it’s something they want to do. Gay culture doesn’t fixate on commitment. Monogamy is not their bag. I’m not allowed in the ladies’ bathroom and I’m usually pretty cool with that. I’m not interested in what comes out of a woman when she’s in the bathroom, and gays aren’t interested in what comes out of a woman when she’s in the hospital.


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