Joe Bob's America

Donnie and Jong Un, BFFs

July 01, 2018

AwesomeHillaryKiller: . . .

DearLeaderDude: But NOT far enough to hit Arizona, Nevada, Idaho, Utah or Montana.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: What’s your point?

SupremeCommanderDude: Here are the only numbers that matter: 55.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Stop being a douche and tell me what this is about.

SupremeCommanderDude: Electoral votes. California electoral votes.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: OMG.

SupremeCommanderDude: Told you you’d love it.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: :0

SupremeCommanderDude: So what was it you wanted to tell me about Melania?

AwesomeHillaryKiller: :)

SupremeCommanderDude: Bro?

AwesomeHillaryKiller: :P

SupremeCommanderDude: Yeah, love you, too.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: ;)

SupremeCommanderDude: Okay, later. Think about it. I gotta run and salute some submarines and soak up some adulatory chanting. Stay loose and never be afraid to whip it out. Peace, love, party down. Bye.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Wait! You there?

SupremeCommanderDude: Always here for you, Donaroonie.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Just California?

SupremeCommanderDude: It’s actually easier to go Oregon and Washington, unless you want me to mess with Hawaii. Call me sentimental but I love Maui.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: No, just asking.

SupremeCommanderDude: I don’t have unlimited resources over here.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Got it. Can’t be greedy.

SupremeCommanderDude: California’s enough, bro. You can even hit me back. I’ll give you some Yalu River reclamation crap—great CNN visuals and we both look like ballers.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: You’re right. I don’t even need all California, just the coast north of San Diego.

SupremeCommanderDude: Hey, you know what you call a Red Hen over here?

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Don’t do this to me.

SupremeCommanderDude: Commie Pastrami.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: I don’t get it.

SupremeCommanderDude: It’s RED, just like your states.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Gotta go, pizza’s here, youngun.

SupremeCommanderDude: You love doing that, don’t you? Still seven more executions before din-din, homie. Out.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Are you sure it’s 55? Because that’s awesome.


Comments on this article can be sent to the .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) and must be accompanied by your full name, city and state. By sending us your comment you are agreeing to have it appear on Taki’s Magazine.

SIGN UP
Daily updates with TM’s latest