Wild Things

Dear Barack Obama (A Letter From Joseph Goebbels)

November 09, 2012

You have somehow convinced the Obama Youth any fact that is “divisive” (I love that word) is not worth knowing. If someone points out a failure, you blame the previous administration, and 50% of the voters blindly agree. You made politics about pop culture and fashion, and now the Dumb Community worships you. You’ve convinced the nation that begot “Don’t Tread on Me” that it needs a government that “cares about them.” Amazing. You’ve turned them into dependent infants.

I haven’t seen propaganda this effective since Roosevelt. He managed to convince post-Depression America that it was the government’s job to make things right. Roosevelt instilled in the lower classes a permanent reliance on government that persists today and will go well past the Second Civil War of 2030.

Fox News appears to be the only one asking questions, but only old people are watching and they will all die shortly. Old people ask too many questions.

This is why I killed Andrew Breitbart. I had seen him pollute the populace like a virus. The most important part of good propaganda is not caring about the truth. I am still worried about this group who call themselves libertarians. Like Andrew, they seem open to debate and have no allegiance to anyone. Though they scoffed at your National Socialism, they also objected to your opponent’s foreign policy and the prohibition of drugs. This is dangerous because where there is loyalty to truth, there is no loyalty to leaders. However, I think it’s this lack of loyalty to one group that will be the libertarians’ downfall.

Your acceptance speech reminded me of all my hard work and I felt proud. After the Depression and before the war, I told a room full of fans, “This nation will again start making history.” Imagine the joy I felt when, 80 years later, I heard you say, “We have fought our way back and we know in our hearts that for the United States of America the best is yet to come.”

The masses are dumb, uneducated fools who can’t think for themselves. They need the government to solve their problems. They need a fascist dictatorship where one great leader chooses who will run the economy.

You are the black eagle on my coat of arms and the only negative thing I could possibly say is that you make me feel slightly inferior. On that note, I am off to kill my family. Watch out for those libertarians and keep up the good fight. Auf Wiedersehen und Gute Nacht!

—Dr. Joseph Goebbels


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