Kids Today

Crossing Bridges on May Day

May 04, 2012

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Crossing Bridges on May Day

How was your May Day? Mine was all right. Actually, that’s not true. It started off left, turned right, stayed right, and then went left again. I went to an OWS protest, sent out some charity T-shirts for Andrew Breitbart’s family, appeared on Red Eye, and performed at a benefit for the OWS legal defense fund.

There were rumors OWS was going to take over every bridge going into Manhattan, so I went to the Williamsburg Bridge at 8AM. Nobody was there, so I went back home and waited for an hour. Still nothing. By noon things were in full swing and a brass band was marching across the bridge with about 500 people in tow. The plan was to block the bridge and stop people from going to work, but it took so long to get their act together, everyone was already at work. Many wore suits to parody the real businessmen who had crossed the bridge actually going to work three hours earlier.

“It’s the dogmatic youth who become the enlightened old dudes.”

About 100 cops escorted the protestors and I asked one of them why people were marching. “I have no idea,” he responded. “I don’t even think they know what it’s about.”

When we got to the center of the bridge, the crowd stopped and refused to move. I overheard one guy in a suit he had clearly never worn before say, “We got the bridge.” He and his friend seemed surprised their plan had worked. Nobody could possibly get by. At this point, a woman behind me on a bicycle began to panic. “I have to get through,” she said aloud. “I have to hand out flyers at Bryant Park!” She and two others on bikes were on their way to occupy the park, but they couldn’t get through their own roadblock. A bearded gentleman from the group began to flip his bike upside down so the bike seat was on the top of his head. “You gonna do it?” the first girl asked. “I’m gonna do it,” he responded. Then both nodded and went into battle against their own occupation. They plowed through the crowd, pushing people out of the way. One of the girls even said, “I have a meeting!”

You know what’s nuts? I liked it. They are way off-base about many things, but their hearts were in the right place. While their peers are playing video games and masturbating to pictures on Facebook, these kids are out there trying to figure out the world.


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