Four years ago, a starry-eyed, hopeful, and fatally credulous nation elected Barack Obama to the presidency based largely on some dimwitted notion that he would usher us into a glittering new “post-racial” era where everyone got along, had group orgies, and joyously mixed their genes into a highly agreeable shade of caramel.
Four years later, “researchers” seem perplexed that the nation is just a tad more “racist” than it was four years ago.
A recently released “study” co-sponsored by the Associated Press—which, smack my ivory-colored ass if I’m wrong, is supposed to dispassionately report facts rather than issue studies that treat indefinable terms such as “prejudice” as if they were remotely scientific—has concluded that Americans are a whopping three percent more “prejudiced” than they were in 2008.
Here’s the punch line, served straight with no chaser by the objective fact-diggers at the AP:
Racial attitudes have not improved in the four years since the United States elected its first black president, an Associated Press poll finds, as a majority of Americans now express prejudice toward blacks whether they recognize those feelings or not.
Thank you, ladies and gents! My name is George Orwell, and I’ll be here all week! Don’t forget to tip your waitress!
In their article announcing the study’s shocking findings, the AP trotted out a series of “Experts on race”: for example, this one, this one, this one, this one, and this one. Notice a pattern? Sure, they also quoted this one apparently for balance, since he lives in an area that is less than half a percent black. The article was coauthored by this woman, which should allay any of your paranoid fears that the entire project stank to heaven of its own sort of prejudice, you racist.
And unless you want to be culturally stigmatized forever, don’t you dare question the study’s methodology, which concluded that it was “prejudiced” to respond in the affirmative when asked whether blacks tend to be more violent. Shut your eyes and ignore the facts, or we’ll bludgeon you into submission with nasty names. Because we all know that despite what all the evidence suggests, what you’re displaying is prejudice rather than postjudice. Even after decades of what may be hard personal experience, you are obviously prejudging.
And kindly snap your mind shut from wondering why it isn’t “racist” that 96% of blacks voted for Obama in 2008 or that Romney’s support among blacks is currently hovering around 0%. We can only hope that Obama is reelected and uses his unparalleled skills at unifying and healing to help black Americans finally get over Romney’s unfortunate skin color. Obviously it’s the Republicans who are alienating nonwhites, and the Democrats’ ceaseless white-bashing could not possibly be driving whites away in droves.
The ominous warning of the AP study is that this new upsurge in “prejudice” could cost Obama the election. So don’t blame them if disillusioned Obamabots riot as a result. Clearly it would not be the fault of his supporters, nor of the race-baiters in the media and the race “experts” in academia—the blame will lie solely at the freckled feet of the “prejudiced.”
Don’t blame black pundits—who make a living by being black and talking about their blackness and how hard it is to be black—for stoking racial tension. Don’t blame the ones who see no irony of accusing Romney of “playing the race card” while their own words appear under a banner that says “East Central Florida’s Black Voice.” Don’t blame those who talk about “the childishness of some whites” or that Romney, by not even mentioning race, was somehow contributing to “the niggerization” of Obama.
Don’t blame a media that never shuts the hell up about race, whether it involves the “Colorectal Cancer Racial Gap,” how racism may cause weight gain, or whether your baby is a racist. Don’t blame a media that works in cahoots with law enforcement to foster the impression that no matter how savage, deliberate, or merciless a black-on-white attack is—even if the perpetrators taunted their victims with racial epithets during the assault—it hardly ever seems to be labeled anything beyond a “possible” hate crime.
And we’ll jolt your nipples with cables attached to a car battery if you’re foolhardy enough to wonder if it might partially be Obama’s fault that after four years in office, Americans are a bit more “racist” instead of full-blown post-racial. Don’t blame him for being the candidate who made a point of his race in 2008, all under the slippery guise of predicting his opponent would make a point of his race. Don’t blame him for beseeching Hispanics to help him “punish our enemies.” Don’t blame him for dishonoring his white mother and the white grandparents who raised him for the fact that he described himself as exclusively “black” on his Census form. Don’t blame him for selecting an Attorney General who is absurdly biased in racial matters. Don’t blame him for presuming the white cop was at fault in the arrest of Henry Louis Gates. And don’t blame him for exploiting a racially charged killing by saying that if he “had a son, he’d look like Trayvon.”
And don’t for a second think that perhaps many well-meaning whites are finally growing a little defensive after realizing that trying hard not to be “racist” is the most thankless job of all. Brush from your consciousness any suggestion that no matter how open-minded and compassionate you try to be, it never seems to be enough. Don’t dare contemplate that many Americans have reached Peak Guilt and will start refusing to fit any more guilt into their already guilt-addled bodies. Don’t think about the idea that tribalism may be a natural instinct and that trying to go “post-racial” is as absurd as trying to go “post-sexual.” If you entertain such notions for even a second, it’s obvious that you’re prejudiced. And now we have tests that can prove it.
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