Donald Trump threatened to kill Hillary Clinton last Tuesday. The Secret Service came to visit him and he’s looking at five years in prison. It’s all conjecture, of course, but that passes for cold, hard evidence this election and that’s because the whole thing is rigged. The media is completely in the tank for Hillary and they neither see, nor hear, nor speak of Hillary’s evil. Hey, guys, if you’re looking for murders, check out anyone who has ever crossed the Clintons. There are about 100 cases where some intern has slept with Bill or some lawyer knew too much or some investigator got too close and boom—he shoots himself in the back of the head at the top of a mountain at four in the morning.
The media cared about the sheer number of cases when 57 women said Bill Cosby raped them. If we brought the Hillary kill list down to 57, you’d be dealing with only the really, really spooky ones. Like the one last month where a DNC staffer, who may very well have supplied Julian Assange with the classified emails that brought massive embarrassment to the party, was shot in the back of the head in the middle of the night.
Seth Rich was talking to his girlfriend on the phone when a gunman came up behind him, shot him to death, and left without taking anything at all. Rich was in a nice neighborhood that I’m told hadn’t had a murder in six years. The Assange link got eye rolls from the left until he personally offered a $20K reward for any information leading to an arrest. A Dutch TV host pressed Julian on this and asked if it was a murder accusation directed at Hillary and the subject quickly died.
The list of victims goes on and on and on, and Google is happy to tell you how serious the accusations are and how tenuous the link is. You’ll likely come across left-wing bias where they pooh-pooh the link, but peel back another layer and it’s only a fraction of a percent less scary than you thought.
Take the case of John Ashe, who was choked by his own barbells in June. The U.N. official was on trial for taking bribes from Chinese billionaire David Ng, a.k.a. Ng Lap Seng. Snopes wants you to know it’s a myth that it had anything to do with Hillary and even my buddy Steve Crowder claims, “He wasn’t going to be testifying against Hillary at any time.” The NY Post disagrees and claims that “the prosecutors would have linked Ashe to the Clinton bagman Ng.” This seems likely as an ABC News story from last year reported on Ng’s multiple visits with the Clintons in 1997 when he was photographed having meetings with them. So Ashe is looking at prison time for dealing with a corrupt billionaire who has a history with Hillary Clinton. He could likely negotiate a leaner sentence if he had some information to impart, but he wouldn’t be able to impart it if his windpipe were crushed by a barbell (who the hell gets killed by their own barbell?).
Cases such as Ashe’s have become routine for the Clintons, but they weren’t back when he was running for president in 1992. The incredibly sexy Paula Grober was Bill’s interpreter for the deaf back then and she worked with him for about fifteen years. It’s been reported she had told a friend about Bill’s advances and she promptly died in a car accident wherein she was hurled 33 feet through the air. Nobody saw the accident and it happened when she was alone, driving in the dark, with no other cars around.
Again, if we’re allowed to employ conjecture, I think this is when Hillary got a taste for murder. She likely wasn’t directly involved. If she were, there would have probably been more deaths before Bill was president. All I could find before 1993 was her giggling at a child molester for getting off.
However, now that her husband was president, she had the power to do more than giggle at crimes. She had the power to commit her own. I’d imagine it quickly became relatively painless and after a few sleepless nights, one gets over such things. She could have been like Martin Landau in Crimes and Misdemeanors after he had his mistress Anjelica Huston killed. “Once in a while there’s a bad moment,” he laments of the guilt, “but with time, it all fades.”
When Whitewater exploded, it became very bad for everyone involved, and that list included Vince Foster and the Clintons. Bill Clinton was being accused of forcing a loan to a woman named Susan McDougal, who facilitated a crummy real estate deal they were involved in. Luckily, Vince shot himself in the mouth before he could drag her down. Though many scoff at the idea he was killed, it is a fact that the Clintons immediately raided his office for incriminating documents.
The anti-conspiracy argument then becomes: They may be corrupt criminals who nabbed incriminating evidence from a guy who just committed suicide, but they had nothing to do with killing the guy who could have made that evidence public. Jon Parnell Walker was an investigator on the case who might have told us more, but he jumped from his apartment balcony to his death. Susan’s husband, Jim, was in jail and also had plenty to say. Fortunately for the Clintons, he died mysteriously of a heart attack while in solitary confinement. Susan refused to speak about the case after that and served 18 months for contempt. When she got out, Bill Clinton pardoned her. This seems to be the safest route to take when involved with a Clinton scandal.
In 1997, while Clinton and his erection were still running the White House, an attractive pregnant woman named Suzanne Coleman committed suicide. This isn’t unusual in and of itself, but people started asking questions when it was discovered she apparently shot herself in the back of the head and had an affair with Bill Clinton when he was attorney general in Arkansas. Was she pregnant with his child? We’ll never know.
That same year, Matt Drudge began unearthing a veritable orgy of sex scandals that eventually led to Monica Lewinsky. Mike Isikoff of Newsweek announced that a “former White House staffer” was coming out with a sexual harassment story against Clinton. Soon after, “White House staffer” Mary Mahoney was promptly shot in the head multiple times. She was a 25-year-old stunner who worked on his campaign and the murder was written off as a robbery even though no money was taken (à la Seth Rich).
Back in 1994, Paula Jones had filed a lawsuit against Bill Clinton and had immediately become too famous to kill. Monica Lewinsky wasn’t. Why wasn’t she killed? “I say today and I will continue to say that I believe Monica Lewinsky is alive today because of choices I made and action I took,” Linda Tripp told Aaron Klein earlier this year. She believes her recorded conversations with Monica left too much evidence for the chunky mistress to be taken out.
It seems too evil to be true, but as self-professed hitman for the Clintons Larry Nichols said, “The Clintons are bad people and I did bad things for them.” This is the part of the article where I make it clear I am happily married with many lucrative gigs I enjoy and a family I adore. As Roger Stone put it, “If I commit suicide, investigate Hillary.”
The list goes on and on. From the year Bill began running for office until this month we have: Ron Brown, C. Victor Raiser II, Paul Tully, Ed Willey, Jerry Parks, James Bunch, James Wilson, Kathy Ferguson, Bill Shelton, Gandy Baugh, Florence Martin, Danny Casolaro, Paul Wilcher, Jon Parnell Walker, Barbara Wise, Charles Meissner, Dr. Stanley Heard, Barry Seal, Johnny Lawhorn Jr., Stanley Huggins, Herschel Friday, Kevin Ives, and Don Henry—to name maybe half the names floating around.
Seem ridiculous? Okay, grab one from the list and look it up yourself. The links you get won’t be mainstream, but that’s because the mainstream isn’t touching it. How about Paul Tully? He worked obsessively on Bill’s campaign for president in 1992 and was intimately involved with what went on behind the scenes. He was found dead in his hotel room a few months after Paula Grober was killed. Did he know too much about the Grober death? We don’t know, but we do know 48-year-olds rarely drop dead in hotel rooms.
It makes one wonder, where is the Obama death toll? We know his brother in Africa isn’t doing well, but at least the guy’s alive. Maybe there is no Obama kill list. None of his bodyguards have disappeared and nobody investigating him has vanished (though Dinesh D’Souza did have to spend eight months in prison for embarrassing him).
The same goes for Trump. The DNC would love some death controversy to float around The Donald, but there simply isn’t any. All his bodyguards and staffers remain intact. In fact, it’s very rare for dead bodies to pile up around any public figure who isn’t Pablo Escobar. You know where Donald Trump’s chef is right now? In his kitchen, making a sandwich. The Clintons’ chef is dead. He vanished after going on a hike in June of last year and was eventually found drowned at the bottom of a river. Chefs know a lot about the people they cook for. Sometimes too much.
On Aug. 1 of this year, author Victor Thorn was found with a gunshot to the back of his head on a hiking trip. It was deemed suicide. He had just released the book Why Hillary Shouldn’t Be in the White House. This brings us up to Aug. 4 of this year, three days after Thorn got shot on a mountaintop. Shawn Lucas was found dead on his bathroom floor just like Paul Tully. Lucas was a process server who proudly served Debbie Wasserman Schultz and the DNC with subpoenas accusing them of putting Hillary over Bernie in the primaries instead of remaining neutral. It was on July 4 weekend, and on camera he declared it “The most gratifying thing I’ve ever done.” The video got over 420K hits and was incredibly embarrassing for the Hillary campaign. Within a month, Shawn was dead.
I imagine her hearing about the death and getting pissed. She never vocalizes things, but when her henchman walks into her office and says, “We took care of that thing,” she scowls at him and breaks a pencil.
She didn’t kill Monica because of a tape and this guy has a video with almost half a million views. The henchman is confused by her anger until he sees YouTube and realizes he screwed up. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t know.”
Hillary understands. In a way she’s mad at herself for letting the murder happen. She didn’t command it, but her gestures had made it clear to the right people what had to be done. To criticize him wouldn’t make sense and she’s going to need him a lot more in the coming months. Besides, what if he blabs like Larry Nichols did? After looking out the window, Hillary sighs and turns back to her friend. “It’s all right,” she says with that weird cartoon smile. “I mean, at this point, what difference does it make?”
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