December 29, 2016
Source: Bigstock
If 2015 was the year of the tranny, 2016 was the year of the cuck. Comedy became a venue for social justice whiners and sex became rape. While castigating white men for letting Trump happen, blacks rioted in the streets based on Facebook memes and Muslims murdered Americans in the name of Islam. It was a topsy-turvy year of hate-crime hoaxes where white people could do no good and brown people could do no wrong. Ultimately, Obama’s last year will go down as the year alt-left fanaticism led to the death of the left. It also begat Trump.
JANUARY
We started the year with Gary Nathaniel Moore awaiting trial for burning a mosque. They assumed it was yet another anti-Muslim hate crime, with both CNN and NBC parroting CAIR’s assessment that the arson reflected a “recent spike in hate incidents targeting mosques nationwide.” When we learned Gary was a black Muslim who attended the mosque, the MSM quickly shifted their attention to some white dude who put strips of bacon on a Muslim doorknob.
January was also the month we saw LaVoy Finicum shot dead by federal agents. This would be a great martyr opportunity for anarchists were LaVoy not cursed with the unbearable whiteness of being. Sure, the government was imprisoning ranchers such as Dwight Hammond and his son Steven for crimes as ridiculous as starting helpful brush fires, and sure, the Bundys were brave enough (and armed enough) to force the government to stand down, but they all look like country singers so, no cool T-shirts for you!
FEBRUARY
The obsession with all things brown brought 16-year-old Marlin Stivani Nivarlain to Northern Iraq where she served ISIS as a piece of human garbage until being rescued by Kurdish special forces. She was shocked to discover it’s a “really hard life” over there.
MARCH
A 1.5% Indian girl was wrenched from her family and brought to another white family who might be a fraction of a percent more Indian. Six-year-old Lexi Page was a victim of the Indian Child Welfare Act, which purports to be about Indian reunification but is really about white guilt and revenge. The Supreme Court is currently pondering their next move, but it’s not looking good and in all honesty, the damage has been done.
APRIL
This was the month everyone told us they were going to move to Canada if Trump won. None of them did.
MAY
Things appeared to be dying down as we approached the spring. The only story that sticks out during this time for me was when food blogger Nick Solares was suspended from his job at Eater.com for possibly being in a band that may have been racist a quarter century ago. I remember his band Youth Defense League from the “80s. They were right-wing but Nazi skinheads hated them for refusing to embrace racism.
JUNE
Brexit happened, which is British for “Trump is going to win.”
JULY
This was the summer of Leslie Jones. The remarkably unattractive black woman who was hired at SNL because someone dared to blaspheme black women had her feelings hurt on Twitter when someone pretended to be her. The person responsible was possibly a fan of Milo Yiannopoulos” so Twitter reacted by banning Milo. Soon after, Jones was rewarded with a trip to the Olympics where she delivered pithy gems such as “Slay all day” and “There is a country called Georgia.”
Oh yeah, five cops were shot and killed in Dallas by a member of the New Black Panthers. Beyoncé likes to dress up like one and dance around during football games but that’s a black issue so get over it.
AUGUST
The end of summer brought one of my favorite stories of the year when a waitress with green hair and tons of stupid tattoos got to pretend she was Rosa Parks. Apparently, some customers at Red Robin didn”t appreciate their server’s punk rock look (which was originally designed to ostracize) and so they said as much. The reaction was peak victimhood with a “flood of support” that included other servers wearing green wigs and applying temporary tattoos.
SEPTEMBER
Keith Scott was shot by police after refusing to cooperate. He was armed but the story became all about him being assassinated by police while reading a book because he’s black. Without so much as a quick Google, this meme became a massive riot that left black male Justin Carr dead after he was shot in the head by another black protester. His mother said he “died for a cause.” She’s retarded.
Over one weekend in September, we had almost a dozen bombs planted in NYC by Muslim Khan Rahami and a mass stabbing in Minnesota by Muslim Dahir Adan. The press took it easy on them, as the lone wolves were likely just following orders.
While this was going on, the war on nonliberal professors was ramped up. University of Toronto’s Jordan Peterson was attacked by his own administration and students for refusing to kowtow to this ridiculous notion that you need to ask someone what pronoun to call them. The University of Ottawa’s Janice Fiamengo has also been swallowed up by this PC fascism and is currently going through some kind of Orwellian review involving a bunch of stupid committees who will fine her if they deem her work offensive. One of the strangest cases in this crusade to make universities completely Marxist is NYU’s Michael Rectenwald. Though he is liberal, he dared to mock safe spaces and trigger warnings and was summarily fired. However, after Trump won, the “deplorable“ professor was rehired, promoted, and given a raise. It’s a heartening story, but 2016 is still the year we had a professor say, “All I want for Christmas is white genocide.”
OCTOBER
The election consumed this month and it was particularly fun because the left was totally convinced they were going to win. They still did promotions and sang songs, but they were victory songs. Hillary even bought fireworks. Those of us who knew Trump was going to win braced ourselves for the temper tantrums.
