I first encountered the word “hatefact” while drinking with someone—either “shock jock” Anthony Cumia at a grimy Midtown bar or VDARE’s erudite Peter Brimelow at the incurably snobby New York Athletic Club. These two characters are about as different as American men get, but they both ask a question a lot of Americans are asking: How did we get to the point where facts are offensive? This country started out with Thomas Jefferson saying, “There is not a truth existing which I fear…or would wish unknown to the whole world,” but today’s liberal-arts graduates have created an environment where anything that makes anyone uncomfortable is hate speech, even if it’s true—in many cases, especially if it’s true.
Here are 10 true statements that millions of Americans find offensive:
1. IT’S NOT QUITE HEALTHY TO BE A FAT PIG
Yes, some people are born with big bones and others have a disease called “burns less calories than they take in,” but anyone who’s visited China in the past 100 years can see that Americans have a disproportionate number of fat pigs. These whales complain that they are seen as human garbage, yet they treat their mouths like fast-food dumpsters. Please explain to me how that is different from putting on blackface and complaining about racism.
2. OVERPOPULATION AIN’T SO GREAT FOR THE ENVIRONMENT
When you’re a kid, you assume being Green is recycling coffee cups and putting old newspapers in a blue bin. After reading, I don’t know, one book, you realize there is nothing an infinite population can do to sustain itself. So you take a peek at who’s doing all the breeding. Turns out, in America at least, homegrown citizens are keeping their population at about zero growth, whereas immigrants are responsible for pretty much all of it—a phenomenon called “The Wedge.” When the Sierra Club was confronted with this inconvenient truth, they split into two groups. One side decided to accept this hatefact and the other decided to pretend it didn’t exist. The pretenders have done well with funding; the hatefact-mongers haven’t.
3. IT MAY BE A BIT HARDER TO SQUEEZE OUT A CHILD AS YOU GET OLDER
This is probably my favorite hatefact because if a guy who spent six years in medical school repeats what he learned, it’s hate speech. Sorry ladies, but your ovaries have a shelf life. At 30, the hourglass turns upside down and it gets progressively harder to have kids. By 35 the sand is all but gone and it’s incredibly difficult to breed. My wife had our first kid at 32 and she was wheeled through a hateful door that said “Geriatric Mothers” on it. As is always the case with feel-good propaganda, it ends up hurting the people it purports to help. I don’t know how many of my mid-30s female peers are stunned by how hard it is to procreate. Sexist facts could have drastically improved their lives, but they were hidden because the truth hurts.
4. PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT SEXUAL PREFERENCES SOMETIMES ENJOY DIFFERENT LIFESTYLES
When Act Up!’s Larry Kramer criticizes the gay lifestyle and insists, “We are murderers, we are murdering each other,” he is seen as a crusader for justice. If the rest of us simply utter, “Jeepers, them gays sure do fuck a lot,” we are woefully naïve. The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart scoffed at people who assumed gays live any differently than straights by pointing out he lives in New York City, where everyone is decadent. Ahem: Jon? Circuit parties go on for three days and the attendees do so much crystal meth, they are able to fornicate nonstop throughout the entire event. This seemingly infinite amount of friction their poor bums and dinks are forced to endure has consequences. Nobody’s saying anyone deserves AIDS, but it shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone who contracts the virus at one of these parties.
5. CERTAIN GROUPS MAY NOT SHINE SO BRIGHTLY ON IQ TESTS
This one feels blasphemous to even type. Who cares if blacks score worse than whites, who score worse than Asians? We’re talking about general patterns involving millions of people. I come from a long line of incredibly stupid drunks and I feel zero shame about it because I know they’re not me. We’re told the tests are culturally biased but that doesn’t explain why Asians all over the world repeatedly outscore the rest of us. I don’t care about that, either. I feel no envy for China. This data is treated like some kind of Raiders of the Lost Ark scroll that will melt your face if you look at it, but I don’t find it disturbing at all. As is made clear in the The Bell Curve, the curves have huge overlaps showing there are thousands of blacks smarter than whites and Asians, while plenty of stupid Asians are way dumber than most of us.
6. THERE’S A REMOTE CHANCE THAT INDIANS WERE NOT LIVING IN A HIPPIE COMMUNE WHEN WE GOT HERE
The accepted narrative for Native Americans is they were all playing Ring Around the Rosie until we blew germs on them and they all fell down. Though he had a helluva time getting it published, Lawrence H. Keeley’s War Before Civilization debunks that myth. The book describes common traditions such as mutilating a body AFTER it was killed to ensure the victim was doomed in the afterlife. We learn of mass graves with hundreds of scalped cadavers a good half-century before Columbus got there. Indian traditions have many wonderful traits, but let’s grow up a little and allow for the possibility they were simply incompatible with the modern world. For Christ’s sake, when we got here they hadn’t even invented the wheel. (Full disclosure: I’m allowed to consider this because the mother of my two children is a Native American.)
7. MEN END UP HAVING SEX WITH PEOPLE THEY DON’T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH
The image of the huge black guy locked in a cell with the cowering white man is the fodder of many a bad joke, but doing the math gets unfunny really fast. The Justice Department recently came out with figures suggesting there were 216,000 victims of prison rape in 2008—that’s the number of victims rather than incidents, which are probably far higher. Even this conservative estimate puts America in the painfully uncomfortable position of being “the first country in the history of the world to count more rapes for men than for women.” You won’t see it on Jezebel anytime soon, but it appears it’s men who should be more offended when rape is trivialized.
8. SLAVERY DOESN’T DO MUCH FOR YOUR MORTGAGE IN 2012
The notion that the evil white man got rich stealing everyone else’s shit fits the great narrative and makes people feel better about themselves (including whites, the only group that derives pleasure from feeling bad about themselves). Here’s a hole in that argument wider than the Mason-Dixon Line: After the Civil War, the South had no wealth. The cotton money was spent. The cotton fields were burned. So even if slavery made us all plantation owners before the war—which is not the case, seeing as how a minority of Southern whites owned slaves even at slavery’s peak—we were all at a level playing field after it was done.
9. GUNS AREN’T ALL BAD
Several books have been written about this counterintuitive truth. Basically: The laxer the gun laws, the less crime. The infantilized left hears about a murder and sees it came from a gun so it says, “GUNS = BAD.” Then they pile on statistics about innocent kids playing with guns and soon we’re doing everything we can to rid the world of “the Devil’s right hand.” All this is obliterated by the countless times a criminal is deterred by the possibility of their victim being armed. We’re not only talking about the thousands of times a potential victim has brandished a weapon and said, “Not gonna happen,” but also the millions of times the perp has been forced to assume their prey may be armed. I’d hate guns too if they led to more crime, but they don’t, so I’m left to enjoy protecting my home and occasionally exploding the living shit out of a unopened can of cola using a .30-06.
10. FRIENDSHIPS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN AREN’T EQUIVALENT TO SAME-SEX FRIENDSHIPS
Nobody’s saying males and females can’t be civil with each other and thoroughly enjoy a relationship devoid of boinking, but friends? You think a married man can be best buds with a woman? OK, try this on for size, guys: “Bye honey, me and Lesley are going camping for a couple of days. We’re going to get wasted and hunt small game and build a fire and probably crash in the same tent because that’s how best pals roll. You cool with that?” Yeah, right. Bringing this up inevitably leaves one open for a barrage of examples of platonic male/female relationships. Maybe one of them even survived a camping trip. Good for you. That’s called an EXCEPTION. The “hatefact” mentality assumes anecdotal evidence erases all the evidence of a general pattern. This crippling allergy to logic isn’t merely ignorant. It discourages people from learning, and that is one of the few things I truly hate.
Please share your favorite hatefacts in the comments section.
UPDATE: I’ve been getting a lot of hatetweets for hatefact, #8 particularly the words, “Level playing field.” Though there are many blacks who say they were actually better off during segregation and most of them voluntarily practice it now, that debate is a whole other ball of hatewax. The myth I was trying to focus on in #8 is strictly: America’s wealth is built on slavery. As far as the American economy goes, we were in debt after the Civil War so any money slavery made was long gone. The whole country had to start from scratch. You almost never hear this simple economic truth; hence, it’s a "hatefact."
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